How To Deal With Difficult Husband In Islam? (TOP 5 Tips)

How can couples and families cope with difficult times in Islam?

  • Couples and families need to work out a coping mechanism in the family. For instance, couples can take a walk to talk about the day or go to the Masjid for at least one prayer. They can read Quran individually or together.

Contents

How do you deal with a difficult husband?

15 Ways To Handle Or Treat Your Partner

  1. Communicate. Good communication is key to any healthy relationship.
  2. Get to the root of the problem.
  3. Understand your partner’s personality.
  4. Pick your battles wisely.
  5. Accept your spouse for who they are.
  6. Ask, don’t interpret or assume things.
  7. Give each other space.
  8. Find a middle ground.

How do Muslims solve marriage conflict?

Keep good relations with family members, but don’t let them hurt your marriage.

  1. Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He) says: “Your Lord has commanded that you worship none but him, and that you be kind to parents” [Qur’an, 17:23].
  2. Islam does not require you to serve your in-laws, only to show them respect.

How do I deal with an arrogant husband?

This Is How Can Deal With An Egoistic Husband Or Partner!

  1. Talk To Him Frankly.
  2. Learn And Practice Saying The Word NO!
  3. Don’t Expect An Apology.
  4. You Do Not Need His Permission.
  5. Encourage When He Shows Good Behaviour.

Can husband and wife sleep separately in Islam?

“ It’s forbidden for a Muslim Man to be alone with a woman and also a for a Muslim woman to be alone with another Man.” The Prophet of Islam (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No man is alone with a woman but the Shaytaan will be the third one present.”

What are the rights of wife in Islam?

The wife has financial rights over her husband, which are the mahr (dowry), spending and accommodation. She has non-financial rights, such as fair division between co-wives, being treated in a decent and reasonable manner, and not being treated in a harmful way by her husband.

What are the signs of a bad husband?

Signs of a Bad Marriage

  • You Feel Contempt for Your Partner.
  • Your Partner Makes You Feel Bad About Yourself.
  • You Feel Controlled by Your Partner.
  • You Stay Only to Minimize Negative Impacts on Your Family.
  • You Might Be Having an Emotional Affair.
  • You’ve Stopped Arguing Entirely.
  • Your Body Language Shows Disinterest.

What are the signs of unhappy marriage?

16 signs you’re in an unhappy marriage:

  • There’s constant criticism.
  • Your relationship has become sexless.
  • You struggle to spend time together.
  • You stop sharing wins with each other.
  • You’re both defensive.
  • You avoid each other, as much as you can.
  • You daydream about leaving.

How do you communicate with a difficult spouse?

How to Communicate with a Difficult Spouse

  1. 1 Pick the right time to talk.
  2. 2 Keep your emotions in check.
  3. 3 Use “I” statements.
  4. 4 Be clear about what you need.
  5. 5 Concentrate on the issue at hand.
  6. 6 Listen to your spouse.
  7. 7 Paraphrase what they’re saying.
  8. 8 Try to see their point of view.

How do you end a marriage in Islam?

In Islam, there is a three-month waiting period before the divorce is finalised.

  1. The husband’s divorce pronouncement can be verbal or written, but it must be done once.
  2. If, however, the wife initiates the divorce, she can either return her dowry to end the marriage, or petition a judge for divorce.

How do I let go of my husband?

Here’s what you can do:

  1. Tell your friends.
  2. Stop trying to hurt your spouse.
  3. Tell your spouse goodbye.
  4. Give up responsibility for your spouse.
  5. Give up your spouse’s responsibility for you.
  6. Set some goals.
  7. Clarify who you are without your spouse.

How do you deal with a selfish husband?

Here are a few ways to handle a selfish spouse.

  1. Discuss, do not complain. One of the biggest mistakes we do is to complain.
  2. Focus on the positives.
  3. Let them take the responsibility.
  4. Take yourself seriously.
  5. Speak up.
  6. Understand the root cause.
  7. Take a final call.

How do I ignore my husband to teach him a lesson?

How to Ignore Your Boyfriend to Teach Him a Lesson

  1. Give him the cold shoulder.
  2. Be short with him when you do speak.
  3. Delay your responses when he calls.
  4. Ignore him on social media.
  5. Give him space.
  6. Stay busy.
  7. Pay more attention to guy friends.
  8. Give him the chance to take initiative.

15 Peaceful Ways How to Deal with Difficult Husband in Islam

The Islamic institution of marriage is not only regarded as one of the most precious things on the planet, but it is also a never-ending learning experience for both the husband and the woman. The process of bringing two individuals together under the same roof does not come easily, which is why husband and wife argue frequently on a daily basis. Because their characteristics are different, the husband and wife become embroiled in an argument. The way they behave throughout the debate is the most important factor in determining the best option.

When situations like these happen, a wife should be prepared to cope with them for the sake of her marriage.

In Islam, the following are some suggestions for dealing with a problematic husband: 1.

Every problem should be communicated in order to arrive at the best solution possible.

  • One thing to keep in mind is that you must be quite familiar with him.
  • Inform him of all you have done and everything you intend to accomplish.
  • In addition, see:How to Have a Happy Marriage in Islam.
  • Show Him Respect and Consideration.
  • If you devote your life to Allah SWT, he will reward you with eternal life in the afterlife (Jannah).
  • Seeing your genuineness and affection would gradually soften his heart as he gets to know you more.
  • – Nisa, a Nisa (4:19) 3.

When you’re dealing with a difficult husband, you’ll eventually run out of patience and burst in rage.

You will have an unnecessarily heated argument with your spouse, and the fallout will be detrimental to the entire family.

Men, on the other hand, have an advantage over them.” – Al Baqara (Arabic for “the mountain”) (2:228) Also see: How to Make Your Husband Feel Good About Himself.

Exhibit patience with him.

Allah SWT has given you a soulmate in the form of the tough spouse you are about to marry.

All that is required of you is patience and perseverance.

As a matter of fact, Allah is with those who patiently endure.” – Al Anfaal (Arabic for “the lion”) (6:46) “Only those who patiently endure will receive their prize in full, without deduction or deduction from their recompense.” Az Zumar is a fictional character created by author Az Zumar (39:10) 5.

  1. Allah SWT is, without a doubt, the finest of all helpers, and He has remedies for whatever situation you may be facing.
  2. The gradual transformation of your husband will take place with Allah’s blessings.
  3. “But whoever fears Allah, obeys Him, turns away from disobedience, and perseveres with patience, it is Allah who does not cause the benefits of good deeds to be forfeited.” – Yusuf S.
  4. S.
  5. Take a Self-Examination What is it about your husband that makes him so difficult?
  6. However, it is possible that you are also to blame, in addition to your husband’s personality features.
  7. Perhaps the manner in which you serve him is not enough satisfactory for him.

“Righteousness is a sign of good character,” says the Bible.

Maintain a positive attitude in front of him.

Your negative attitude will have a negative impact on him and will cause him to be in a foul mood.

If there’s something about your husband that you don’t like, speak calmly to him about it.

Make an effort to be upbeat in front of your husband since happiness is infectious.

“Do not view any good deed as insignificant.” 8.

Over time, he will be feeling so horrible about himself for not treating you well enough that he will adjust his tough character in order to accommodate you.

You may also be interested in:Muslim Wife Duties for Her Husband 9.

Be grateful to him and express your appreciation for his efforts.

10. Behave in a Respectful and Professional Manner Maintain a respectful relationship with your husband. If you want to speak to him in a pleasant voice, don’t yell at him or use harsh phrases when you’re conversing. In addition, see:How to Make Your Husband Romantic in Islam

Ways to Please Your Husband

Do the following things to delight your spouse so that he won’t be so tough in the future:

  1. Demonstrate your devotion for him. Kiss and embrace him frequently, especially when he’s getting ready for work and when he gets home from work. Compliment him and lavish him with tiny presents to demonstrate your appreciation. Put on your best clothes and present yourself nicely in front of him. It is possible that him being pleased with your appearance may make him happy. Whenever you’re around him, make sure you’re clean and wearing perfume all the time. Make a lot of jokes with him, but never offend him. Making light of a situation and making it more pleasurable is a smart technique to defuse tension. Respect him and refrain from harassing him. Also, never say anything negative about him to your parents or to anybody else for that matter. Recognize and thank him for all of the hard work he has put in for the family. It may appear to be a minor detail, yet it means a great deal to him

Show him how much you care about him by being affectionate. When he’s getting ready for work or after work, give him lots of kisses and hugs. Complement him and treat him with tiny gifts to express your appreciation; Put on your best clothes and present yourself to him in a lovely manner. If you appear attractive, he may be pleased with your performance. Whenever you’re with him, keep your clothes clean and use perfume all the time. Never offend him, even if you’re joking about with him all the time!

Never belittle or harass him in any way.

Acknowledge his contributions to the family’s well-being and hard work.

How to deal with a difficult husband – Islamweb

  • Fatwa issued on November 30, 2002, in accordance with Ramadan 26, 1423
  • Rating:

Question

In the name of Allah, the Most Merciful, the Most Generous. I turn to Him for protection from the evil Satan. My hubby is quite cruel to me. He’s a bully who uses foul language. During our conversation, he moves out of a room and into another one. He has been leaving my bed without a word for months or even weeks at a time. Despite the fact that I am a stay-at-home parent, he does not manage my affairs. He has informed me that his family comes before me and the children, despite the fact that they are not Muslims.

I’ve questioned him about what I’m doing incorrectly.

He is adamant about not talking about it.

Answer

All praise be to Allah, the Creator of the Universe, and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and his family, as well as upon all of his companions and followers. Islam emphasizes the need of establishing a respectable and honorable Muslim family. Therefore, Allah has defined the proper foundations for establishing a prosperous Muslim family. In such a family, both spouses have legal obligations to each other, and both of them are responsible for upholding those obligations.

Others are at a period of separation and dissatisfaction.

It is unlawful for him to remain gone from her for a period of time that may lead to her succumbing to temptation.

If the husband fails to perform his responsibilities, the wife has the right to request the restoration of her rights unless she agrees to give up those rights without being obliged to do so by the court.

If she is subjected to some form of injury that she cannot tolerate, she has the right to seek to have that harm removed, including by filing for divorce. Allah is the most knowledgeable.

Related Fatwa

You may find a fatwa by searching via a variety of options.

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How do I deal with a husband who is unreasonable and quick to get angry?

Whereas some men are quick to anger and have a horrible tendency of finding flaws in others all of the time, especially their wives, how should a lady respond when her husband unnecessarily loses his temper at her or spends the entire day solely picking on her for the things that are wrong with her? Should she keep mute in order to avoid aggravating the situation, apologize for what he perceives to be her inadequacies, or fight for her legal rights? It has been seen that being mute in such a situation has really backfired, as it has enraged the husband even more as he has not received any form of response from the wife.

  1. We ask Allah to shower His peace and blessings on His Messenger Muhammad, his family, companions, and followers.
  2. I hope for your well-being and that you are in the finest of health and spirits.
  3. May Allah bring you success in this life as well as in the next.
  4. It is recommended that while one partner represents fire, the other spouse should be water.
  5. When your spouse becomes enraged, take steps to defuse the situation, much as it is imperative to put out a fire rather than spend time attempting to identify the perpetrator of a robbery when a house is on fire.

How to deal with disagreements in a marriage Recall the words of Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him), who in his sermons describes the sunna of conduct in life: “Be conscious of Allah, and Allah will be mindful of you.” Keep Allah in mind at all times, and He will appear in front of you.

  1. If you must rely, put your trust in Allah.” This implies that, before taking any action, we should first consider Allah and what He would approve of.
  2. In doing so, we place our trust in Allah and the methods at our disposal are taken.
  3. Instead than focusing on the other person, successful conflict resolution focuses on the future and on the issues that need to be addressed.
  4. Problems should be discussed, but they should be done in a good, forward-looking way.
  5. Frame your proposals in a manner that your husband will understand the advantage of them, and emphasize the immediate and indirect benefits of doing so for him as well as for the marriage as a whole.
  6. It is important to remember that successful marriages resolve problems on an emotional level as well as on a rational level.
  7. This does not imply that you are caving in’ to him in any way by treating him with kindness and respect.

Furthermore, it is the path that is most pleasing to Allah Most High, as well as the one that is closest to the sunna of the Chosen One (Allah bless him and grant him peace), who said, “The best among you are the best to your wives, and I am the best of you to his spouses.” In search of your legal rights in marriage In the same way, you should seek your legal rights.

  1. Instead, the goal is to find a method to truly obtain your legal rights while also healing and strengthening the married connection.
  2. Then reason with yourself about what is truly troubling you, rather than merely incidental matters that prompted your anger (and which aren’t actually at the basis of your dissatisfaction with the world).
  3. Make an effort to discuss the topic in the perspective of the two of you as a couple on the road to a successful future, rather than two individuals in the midst of a heated argument or disagreement.
  4. Whenever you look ahead to a bright future, challenges appear modest and manageable; nevertheless, when you only look at problems themselves, they appear enormous.
  5. You requested for useful resources on marriage, and I delivered.
  6. The writings of John Gottman are quite valuable.
  7. Gottman’s books were suggested to me by Shaykh Mostafa Azzam, a close friend of mine.
  8. But it is, without a doubt, some of the greatest literature now accessible.

A solid resource on the subject (as well as the links it provides) is provided in the following PDF article: Family Health and Well-Being in Difficult Times: Promoting Family Health and Well-Being Wassalam, Faraz Rabbani is a well-known Iranian actor.

Married to an Angry Man

The 7th of June, 2018 QAs Salamu Alaykum, and thank you for visiting. I’m in a pretty difficult position right now. My spouse is a pleasant person, but he has a short fuse. He becomes really agitated about seemingly insignificant issues and begins to verbally abuse me severely. I’ve attempted to communicate with him, but he simply ignores me, claiming that this is just the way he is. I’m really sensitive, and it causes me a great deal of pain. He speaks in a derogatory and nasty manner.

Answer

In this counseling response, the counselor says: “Your spouse should listen to you and express regret for his actions.” Islam instructs us to keep our emotions under control. Establish clear limits and do not accept disrespect. When he has regained his composure, speak with him.

As-Salam ‘Alaikum,

Thank you for taking the time to write to us. I can see how terrible it must be for you to be going through this with your husband at this time. Insha’Allah, I will do all in my power to assist you with this situation. You’re claiming that your spouse has a short fuse and gets agitated about insignificant things. What exactly are the things that make him enraged? Is there anything you do that he finds objectionable? I’m not arguing that he has legitimate reasons to be enraged and act in this manner against you, but you are his wife, and you may be aware of what “sets him off” and causes him to be abusive toward you.

  • I have the sense that he abuses you both physically and verbally.
  • Anger is a normal emotion that may have devastating consequences, including the destruction of relationships, health, and even whole lives.
  • As a result, Islam instructs us to maintain control over our emotions.
  • The virtuous people learn to manage their wrath, and if they do so, they will be granted entry into Paradise.
  • It is critical that you speak with him when he is not agitated and has calmed himself.

Domestic violence occurs in a relationship where there should be love and trust, and it is a violation of human rights. Try talking to a few close family members about your concerns. Perhaps there is someone your husband looks up to who can talk to him and lead him in the right direction.

Check out this counseling audio:

First and foremost, do not add more gasoline to the fire. When he becomes agitated, leave him alone. Recognize that the rage is just transitory and that it will subside shortly. It is important not to add additional fuel to his fire since words made in anger to each other frequently create wounds that last a lifetime. You should wait till he has regained his composure and can reason sensibly. You may then address his rage directly to him at that point. Most of the time, it takes 20 minutes for the effects of adrenaline to wear off.

  1. Inform him of what you are not ready to tolerate and communicate with him in a respectful manner.
  2. Don’t waste your time and energy on people who can’t help you.
  3. Rather, it is about identifying the problems and determining which ones are worth addressing and which ones can be ignored.
  4. A guy will only mistreat a lady if no one calls him on it and no one intervenes.
  5. It is your responsibility to put a stop to it.
  6. When it’s necessary, express regret.
  7. Make certain, however, that it is genuine.
  8. I understand that “we are what we eat” is a cliche, but what we eat does have an impact on our mental health.
  9. If nothing else works, warn him that you will no longer be able to live with him if he maintains his awful conduct and advise that he get professional treatment, such as therapy or other services.
  10. “.and be courteous to them as you go about your business.” According to the Quran (4:19).

When asked about the best believers, the Messenger of Allah (saw) said, “Those who have the finest behavior are those who have the most flawless Faith, and among you the best are those who are the best to your spouses.” (At-Tirmidhi) Your husband’s conduct must have caused you a great deal of pain and sadness.

  • Assist him in his efforts to pray and become closer to Allah (swt).
  • His nasty statements demonstrate that he is a coward and a weakling.
  • Hearing about your predicament has made me feel quite sorry.
  • He (swt) provides them with assistance and a resounding triumph.
  • Certainly, Allah is at the patient’s side.” According to the Qur’an (2:153), Please ask Allah (swt) to release your strain and provide you patience, inshallah.

Disclaimer: It is expressly understood that AboutIslam, its counselors, and employees will not be accountable for any losses that may come as a result of your decision to utilize our services.

Read more:

How to Control My Anger with Kids? Anger Management Resolving Family Conflicts Unable to Control Your Anger? These 3 Tips Will Help You

11 tips for Muslim couples dealing with marital disputes in the West

Marriages are often difficult to begin with. Everyone, including the newlyweds, their parents, other relatives, and friends, works together. The majority of the time, everything goes nicely. However, at some point in the process, marital problems arise. It’s only natural to have these feelings, but if they’re not dealt with properly, they may develop to potentially hazardous levels. During an interview with Sound Vision, Shahina Siddiqui, of the Islamic Social Services Association of the United States and Canada (ISSA), shared her advice for couples dealing with marital disagreements.

1. Money

Although there are a variety of issues that cause disagreements between couples, money is by far the most common and severe. The remedy is to address matters freely with one’s family and counsel with them on how to proceed. Consider the topic of a woman working outside the house. It has the potential to turn heated. Preferably, this should be discussed before to the wedding ceremony. If she does decide to work and her husband agrees, does she want to contribute a specific percentage of her earnings to family costs or does she want to retain all of the money for herself (which is her legal right to do)?

If you are a young student, keep in mind that you will be required to pay back student loans at some point.

2. In-laws

When there are marital disagreements, the in-laws are frequently the target of blame and contempt. However, there are methods for maintaining a positive connection with them. Here are a few pointers:

  1. Keep in mind that your spouse’s parents have known and loved them for a longer period of time. Never establish a distinction between “me” and “them.” Allow the parties involved to resolve their own differences. You should not interfere if your mother-in-law is having a disagreement with her husband. Don’t get involved
  2. Don’t tell your spouse how to strengthen their connection with their parents
  3. Instead, encourage them to do so. Prepare for some adjustment period for parents following marriage as they become used to their new partnership. Keep in mind that moms are often wary of daughter-in-laws and dads are typically skeptical of son-in-laws. Always remember to show compassion, respect, and kindness to your in-laws. Make sure you strike a balance between your own requirements and those of your in-laws
  4. Never compare your wife to your mother, or your spouse to your father
  5. Both are unhealthy comparisons. Do not bring your disagreements to your parents’ attention. Please notify your spouse, out of politeness and for the sake of clarity, if you are financially supporting your parents. If you are concerned about your spouse’s religion or safety, do not prohibit him or her from visiting family. It is not permissible to reveal secrets. Make an effort to get to know your in-laws, but avoid becoming involved in their arguments. Maintain the Adab (Islamic etiquettes) with your sister- and brother-in-laws (for example, no touching or kissing)
  6. You are not required to spend every weekend with your in-laws
  7. But, you may choose to do so. Ensure that grandparents may have convenient and acceptable access to their grandchildren. Remember to be forgiving and to maintain your sense of humour. Keep in mind that no one can interfere with or influence your marriage unless you give them permission to do so. Invite your in-laws around for dinner at least once a month
  8. Visit them as often as you can, and encourage your spouse to do the same, as well as to check on them on a regular basis. When parents grow reliant on their children, a serious discussion should be had with all of the participants in the discussion. It is necessary to determine the expectations and requirements of such a living arrangement.

3. Parenting

Ties that are pulled in a tug of war as a result of conflicting perspectives on parenting can also cause conflict in a relationship. One way is to begin learning about Islamic parenting well before you want to establish a family. Even if you already have children, you can still benefit from this course. Take a look at the Sound Vision parenting page. Alternatively, resources can be obtained through organizations such as ISSA.

4. Stress

Stress is an almost continuous presence in the lives of the majority of individuals in North America. Muslim spouses are not exempt from this rule. Stress from the workplace, for example, might be transferred over into the family home. Couples and families must come up with a coping method that works for everyone in the household. Couples can, for example, go for a stroll to speak about their day or visit the Masjid for at least one prayer session to unwind.

They have the option of reading the Quran individually or in a group. It doesn’t matter what procedures are employed, as long as they are Halal and effective, they are acceptable.

5. Domestic violence

A tragic fact that must be addressed immediately by victims, offenders, and/or those who are worried about the two, or else the family may disintegrate. It is vital to seek treatment, and if domestic violence is not stopped, the negative results will not only be bad to the husband and wife, but will also be harmful to their children. Abusive family members, friends, and Imams must put an end to the harassment and intimidation. In this case, they must intervene and seek to secure assistance for both the husband and wife.

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6. Spiritual incompatibility

As Muslims from all over the world settle in North America, and as diverse interpretations of Islam coexist, this is becoming an increasingly serious problem. A disturbing lack of tolerance exists among young Muslims, in particular, who may be drawn into cult-like organizations that preach a “we’re right and everyone else is wrong” mentality, regardless of whether the issue is where you place your hands in prayer or whether you choose to wear Western clothes or traditional Eastern ones. As a result, intolerance is being extended to marriages, where a couple may disagree on small aspects of religious belief.

That is the foundation upon which they must learn tolerance, balance, and respect for one another’s differences.

7. Sexual dysfunction

There are few people who talk about this issue, but it is one that has wreaked devastation on a number of couples in recent months. Many couples who are getting married are not aware of the Islamic stance on sex and marriage, which they should be aware of. When they are dissatisfied with their marriage, a significant proportion of them may seek a new partner or seek an easy divorce rather than seeking a lasting solution together. Couples must recognize that, as in other areas, their marriage connection requires effort and patience, and that it cannot be subjected to whims and impatience as it has been in the past.

8. Interfaith marriages

The religion of Islam bans the union of Muslim women with non-Muslim males. There have been a handful of Muslim women who have taken this step and afterwards expressed sorrow for doing so. In the majority of Muslim households, such an action leads in the lady being secluded from her family and without any assistance. As a result, when marital difficulties emerge, these women are unable to receive the parental assistance that is available to many Muslim couples. These Muslim women may also be filled with remorse as a result of defying Allah and causing harm to their families.

  1. Again, this has the potential to cause marital discord.
  2. Either the guy becomes a true practicing Muslim and the couple’s compatibility is destroyed, or he is inundated by Muslims from the community who want to invite him to Islam, causing him to get agitated and maybe to despise Islam altogether.
  3. However, Muslim men who marry Jews or Christians should be aware that, if they live in the West and divorce, the children will nearly always be delivered to their mother, regardless of whether Islam permits it.
  4. If you want your children to grow up as practicing Muslims, it is preferable to marry a practicing Muslim lady, especially if you live in a Western country where unIslamic cultural pressures outside the house are strong enough to make this a viable option.

Once within the house, it will be much more difficult to keep Islamic ideas alive if the mother is not herself a devout Muslim herself.

9. Intercultural marriages

In spite of the fact that multicultural marriages are not prohibited by Islam, they may cause conflict when Muslims, particularly the couple but also their families, place greater emphasis on their culture than their religion. It is easier for a couple to navigate an international marriage if their parents are supportive of the union. If there is no such agreement, and if there is even antagonistic resistance on the part of one or both sets of parents, it may be preferable in the long term not to marry the individual.

10. Lack of domestic skills

In contrast to the encouragement given to females to pursue careers in fields like as science, engineering, and medicine, there is little or no focus placed on developing domestic skills in girls. However, it is important to note that, while women are not prohibited from working within Islamic norms and men are encouraged to assist with housework, women’s primary responsibility is to care for their families as home managers and mothers. Many married couples find themselves in a state of irritation as a result of a lack of domestic skills.

If both spouses are employed, males must contribute more to the household and remember that their wife is not a machine but a human being who requires relaxation after a long day at the office.

11. The modern Muslim woman meets the old-fashioned Muslim man

While young Muslim women in the West are encouraged to be strong and confident, males in the same way and with the same cultural expectations as their dads are being raised in the same style and with the same cultural expectations as their fathers. Thus, young couples find themselves in a tug of war when the traditional, young Muslim boy refuses to do anything around the house (because he never saw his father do it) and the traditional, young Muslim wife expects him to pitch in, just as the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) expected his wives to do for him.

Once again, this is a cultural issue.

Parents must use greater caution in order to provide appropriate instruction to both children.

I am emotionally drained from my husband. Should I seek divorce?

I am a mother of two and discovered that my husband is watching porn and cheating on me. He does not show any emotions and careless in dealing with me. He does not spend money on me or his children at all and he does not care about raising them or being there for them. I feel miserable and I met a decent man who proposed to marry me but I feel I am betraying my husband. What should I do? After reading your inquiry, I believe you answered your own questions and solved the dilemma that you have been going through for sometime now. The husband in Islam has so many responsibilities some of them are financial and others are emotional, parental, and social. From what I understood in your inquiry, your husband is not contributing financially at all in supporting his family and probably does not believe that he has to. So he scores zero at the financial front. Moving to another important aspect which is the parental one, you said that he is not contributing at all in parenting and raising his children. That makes you a single mom in disguise, officially married and solely burdened with the up keeping of your household. So again your husband scores zero on the parental front. The third aspect of his responsibilities is the emotional one. You stated that you have been sick for some time now and he did not even show the minimal amount of care and he treats you with disrespect;no wonder why you don’t feel happy with him as you are practically living alone separated from him emotionally and dare I say that you might be a victim of being emotionally abused. This makes him score nothing but big fat zero on the emotional front.Regarding the addiction to porn problem that your husband is having along with cheating on you and knowing many girls, I believe he needs to see a psychiatrist because he is sick and needs to go through some kind of therapy. Also if your husband is a constant liar, he makes it very difficult for you to trust him or to start a new page with him because honesty and integrity are crucial bases for a healthy marriage.I personally believe that you have the right to seek divorce and allow me to use the term you used which is to plan a divorce because unhappy marriage leads to disastrous consequences and the ones they suffer the most are the children. Your husband is not making any efforts to lead a good example and he turns your life to a complete misery. I think you need to take matters into your own hand and have the courage to face him with his pitfalls as a husband and father. Maybe you can try to have a heart to heart conversation with him for the last time and warn him that you will seek divorce if he didn’t change his attitude. If your words fell on deaf ears then you exhausted all means of reconciliation and you owe it to yourself and your children to move away starting a new life where they get to see their father whenever he or they want of course but without you taking the brunt of officially having a husband whereas literally you have nothing but a failed marriage.I believe you need to start to seek ways of being financially independent through having a job and move out to a new city and make friends who can support you and I advise you to supplicate to God constantly as the power of supplication is so immense that it sets things right and you would feel serenity within you and a strength to pass through this difficult time inshAllahAs for the last part of your email that you have met someone and he is willing to marry you. I believe that you don’t need to rush off to another relationship right now. You have been suffering for the last five years of your life and that makes you emotionally vulnerable to any newcomer and this state might hinder your intellectual ability to make an educated decision regarding going through a second marriage. Why don’t you take it one step at a time? By thinking of another marriage, you are not betraying your husband as you are not going through a relationship with anyone else God forbid. It is very natural to think of an alternative to your miserable life so don’t tear yourself apart over this.Tell this friend of yours that you are not accepting nor refusing his proposal, you just need to set your life straight first. Don’t ever get married out of need but out of want and love. You learned the hard way that you need to take care of yourself and your kids with no external support and I have faith that God won’t ever let you down and He will be right there with you at every step of the way, front and center inshAllah.May Allah grant you strength, happiness and direct you always to the right path.Amen

How should she deal with her husband who gets angry quickly if she is late in responding to his requests? – Islam Question & Answer

When my spouse assigns me to perform tasks for him, he fails to take my needs into consideration. He becomes enraged anytime he asks me to do something for him and I am unable to complete the task on time owing to my job commitments. It is quite inconvenient for me. Allah be praised for his mercies. There is no doubt that treating one’s spouse and life partner with kindness and respect is the most crucial factor in sustaining a positive connection between the spouses. “The best of you is the best of you to his family, and I am the best of you to my family,” the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said.

  • Although no one is without flaws, errors, or limitations, it is important to recognize that no one is without them.
  • Mistakes and weaknesses are natural elements of the human condition.
  • There is always the option of leaving a friend because you don’t like her attitude or personality and finding another buddy to make up for it.
  • So the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) advised that dwelling on the wife’s flaws and failings makes marriage difficult and might lead to animosity between the couples.

“Even if he dislikes one of her features, he may find something else to enjoy in her.” We are confident that you will discover positive characteristics and characteristics in your husband, your household, and your family that will motivate you to put up with thisfault, which we agree is a fault, but it is possible to live with it and put up with it while attempting to remedy it with good treatment and wisdom.

You can give priority to what he wants you to perform – to the extent that you are able – above your other responsibilities.

If you express your regret to him and set his mind at ease, it will not cost you anything, and you will benefit greatly as a result, in sha Allah. We implore Allah to bring about reconciliation between you and your husband. And Allah is the most knowledgeable.

How To Handle A Difficult Husband Or Wife: 15 Golden Tips

Image courtesy of Shutterstock A conscious commitment is required in relationships; they are a work in progress that requires a few changes and a jolt of positive momentum in order to attain their full potential. It is possible to make improvements in your relationship if you and your partner are suffering from poor communication, disrespect, rudeness, a lack of capacity to compromise, bad energy, or angry behavior patterns. In order for a relationship to work, both partners must be committed, willing to adapt and evolve with the relationship as it progresses.

Even the smallest things, like as having open and honest communication with your partner and being open to change, are important stages in getting back on track in your couple relationship.

15 Ways To Handle Or Treat Your Partner

A good relationship is built on open and honest communication. You must establish an atmosphere in which both of you are comfortable discussing everything and everything about your relationship, whether it is your anger patterns, the cruel words that have been used, or any other bad conduct that you find bothersome. Many issues may be resolved when people communicate well with one another. If you accept abuse and disrespect on a regular basis, it may be taken as an indication that you are comfortable with it.

2. Get to the root of the problem

The fact that your partner’s needs are not being satisfied is a common source of anger difficulties. If you notice your spouse becoming too concerned about insignificant issues, take a moment to consider whether there is a deeper, underlying problem at hand. Put yourself in your partner’s shoes and see things from their point of view if you find yourself in this predicament. Try reversing the roles and see how it affects you. Rather of trying to force your point over, try to understand where your spouse is coming from and what is creating the angry response or disrespectful comments, and then communicate your understanding to your partner.

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3. Understand your partner’s personality

Your relationship, as well as the rest of the world, is full of surprises. You could believe you know them inside and out, but they’ll surprise you when they come back to visit. Every day, you learn something new about them and your relationship with them. It is critical to comprehend your spouse or wife’s mentality, character, nature, reactions to your actions, as well as their likes and dislikes, before you can learn how to handle them.

It is more important than everything else to understand the other person rather than trying to manage them. By making an intentional effort to understand them, you will learn to react and behave in a more caring manner, which will help to keep things calm and smooth between the two of you.

4. Pick your battles wisely

If you’re in a relationship, it’s not about losing or winning disagreements or conflicts, but rather about being conscious and distinguishing between issues that simply need to be resolved and concerns that need to be addressed. You must determine whether or not the issue at hand is one that is worth debating. It’s quite normal for you and your spouse to not agree on everything all the time. Because of this, if the subject at hand is insignificant or unimportant, it may be worthwhile to drop it.

5. Accept your spouse for who they are

Because things such as hair style, dressing up, speech patterns, etc., or behavioral expressions from others are desired to be seen on the partner’s face, one of the root causes of aconflictor your spouse not getting along is because things such as hair style, dressing up, speech patterns, etc., or behavioral expressions from others are desired to be seen on the partner. Such wishful thinking can result in feelings of dissatisfaction and the accumulation of a significant amount of negative energy.

Acknowledge and accept your better half for who they are, and you will see a significant shift in their behavior and response, which will be for the better, as well.

6. Ask, don’t interpret or assume things

You get into a quarrel or argue with your partner because you misread their facial expressions or behaviors as being hostile. Anger, rudeness, and contempt are all common responses to misunderstanding, and they are all acceptable. If such activities irritate you, you will become enraged as well. Instead of using cruel words or exhibiting anger at them, engage in open communication with them. You may expect your partner to tell you the truth in an accepting and trustworthy relationship. It is preferable not to make assumptions in order to get a fruitful end.

An important step toward managing an angry spouse is taking this step forward.

7. Give each other space

Sometimes the easiest approach to deal with a husband or wife who wants their own space is to simply give them the space they desire themselves. The ability to get along becomes more apparent when you each have your own life separate from one another. It all boils down to finding the appropriate balance between being together and being apart from one another. For example, having your own interests or hobbies or working for two different firms might be considered a type of independence. While this may seem counter-intuitive to you, it has been shown to have beneficial benefits.

8. Find a middle ground

It is normal for two persons to have interests that are diametrically opposed to one another. You must find a medium ground and come to terms with a compromise. And it’s a lot less difficult than you may expect! When your relationship is your first priority, you’ll feel more comfortable agreeing on things and won’t feel as if you’re making a significant financial sacrifice.

If you like to relax in front of the television on weekends while your spouse wants to go out to dine and socialize with friends, you may meet in the middle and go out on certain evenings while spending quality time at home on the other nights.

9. Be assertive and respectful

When confronted with two or more opposing points of view, an assertive spouse will maintain his or her composure. This does not imply that you should scream and fight your way out of a situation. This will greatly exaggerate the significance of the situation. When you act assertively, you put yourself in a position where you can express your desires in a clear but courteous manner while also taking your partner’s desires and feelings into consideration. And when you’re forceful and courteous, you demonstrate that you’re open, honest, and self-assured in your abilities.

10. Catch the acts of anger and rudeness early on

It’s normal for anybody, including your partner, to become agitated from time to time. Once in a while, even out of control, impolite, or disrespectful behavior is acceptable. However, if you see this conduct on a frequent basis, it is not typical. When this becomes a trend, things have a tendency to spin out of control. There is little or no likelihood of a person changing their mind after they have developed a habit of holding resentment or anger. If you see and identify a trend like this early on, you should try to figure out what is causing the pattern.

11. De-escalate the situation

When dealing with an angry spouse, it is critical to maintain your composure and avoid fighting fire with fire. An angry spouse will become more defensive and uncooperative as a result of a confrontation or an argument with them. A spouse should avoid responding to the behaviors or sentiments of the other partner when one partner is disrespectful, impolite, or furious. Allowing the individual to calm down will allow you to converse more freely. The more calm you are, the more likely it is that their fury will fade more quickly.

12. Realize it’s not about you

Sometimes your partner’s anger has nothing to do with you – there may be other issues going on in his or her life at the moment. And while you may be aware of what is going on at times, you may be completely unaware of what is going on at other times. Recognize that there is something more fundamental at the root of your rage or hatred. This will assist you in reacting and responding in a more calm and effective manner.

13. Acknowledge their feelings

You may not agree with how your spouse behaves, how he or she expresses anger, how he or she uses disrespectful language, or how he or she exhibits contempt, but you should make an effort to empathize with and respect their sentiments. Sometimes the only way to deal with such severe conduct is to be understood, accepted, and cared for yourself. It is not necessary to agree or disagree with their outburst, but rather to express empathy for their injured sentiments.

Understanding your furious spouse may be one of the most difficult things you will ever have to do, but it is a necessary step in moving past the suffering. Every afflicted spouse, on the other hand, has a limit to how far they can go in dealing with the harsh conduct.

14. Focus on all the good

Your spouse has a compassionate and caring side that lies underneath the rage and disdain. Concentrate on the positive energy and allow it to grow. Over time, they’ll begin to exhibit more of their positive characteristics.

15. Know when you have to leave

Unfortunately, even if you’ve given everything you’ve got, things may not turn out as planned. If your partner’s anger, rudeness, or contempt does not cease despite your attempts, the relationship is not appropriate for you. If they are not aware that their actions are having an impact on your relationship, you should not be the one who suffers as a result. You might consider taking a break from things that you can’t alter at this moment. A relationship is about more than simply feelings of passion, connection, and love; it is also about learning to live with one another.

  1. Every relationship will not be flawless, just as no one is perfect in their own right.
  2. The following two tabs alter the content of the section below.
  3. Carlos Juan Carmona-Goyena is a board-certified marriage and family therapist in the United States and Puerto Rico, with a specialization in couples, families, and interpersonal interactions.
  4. Carlos holds a doctorate in counseling psychology from the Interamerican University of Puerto Rico, which he earned in 2004.
  5. Dr.more Ratika has a wide range of writing expertise in a variety of disciplines, including finance, education, lifestyle, and entertainment, among others.
  6. During her spare time, she is fascinated by human interactions and enjoys researching individuals and the ways in which they manage their interpersonal relationships.

When the Wife is Unhappy With the Husband

The Situation in which the Wife is Dissatisfied with the Husband Dr. Ahmad Shafaat contributed to this article (1984) It is suggested in Qur’an 4:34 (Surah Nisa, ayah 4) that husbands should seek advice on how to cope with marriage troubles when they believe that their wives are beingdeliberately rude to them. Additionally, the Holy Qur’an provides instruction in circumstances where it is the woman who believes she is being abused and is distressed as a result of this. In this context, it is essential that all Muslims understand that the Holy Qur’an categorically forbids the forced marriage of women against their choice, and that this must be understood by all Muslims.

That is, the person who performs such a thing sins against himself.

You are not permitted to become the legal heirs of your spouses against their will.” These passages come in a variety of situations, but they clearly include the notion (which is also found in Hadith) that women can only be brought into and retained in a married relationship if they voluntarily want to do so.

  • Those who do so commit a sin, and unless they are pardoned by the ladies involved, they will be punished in the hereafter by being sent into hell fire.
  • As soon as the woman has made up her mind that she does not intend to stay in the marriage bond and has publicly stated her desire to do so, the husband no longer has any excuse in the eyes of God for beating her.
  • It is more often than not social or economic forces that are employed to keep someone trapped in an unsatisfactory relationship, whether knowingly or unintentionally.
  • However, if you do good and are cognizant of God, you may be assured that God is aware of all you do.
  • It is this sort of thinking that contributes to the societal pressure that is employed to keep women subjugated.
  • When the Qur’an states “there is nothing wrong” or “it is not incorrect” (la junaha), it is referring to the struggle against certain societal taboos and long-established psychological attitudes.

Obviously, the first step that a woman should take in order to modify her marriage situation if she is dissatisfied with it is to sit down with her spouse and “talk it out.” Depending on the circumstances, one of two outcomes may occur: either a mutually agreeable adjustment in the husband’s attitude, or a mutual choice to break the marriage bond (with the woman perhaps repaying some of the dowry (2:229)).

  • The words of the poet brilliantly promote such a peaceful resolution of disputes “Peace is preferable, and selfishness is a characteristic of the human soul.
  • What we are required to accomplish is to strike a balance between our own selfishness and our awareness of and care for others.
  • It is in this spirit that the husband and wife should talk about their marital troubles with each other.
  • For example, if the husband is not willing to discuss matters in this manner and continues to mistreat thewife, she can take the matter to an Islamiccourt, which will then enforce a fair settlement onto him.
  • As stated in the Holy Qur’an, a wife’s desire to seek a change in her marriage arrangement if she believes her husband mistreats or ignores her should be considered socially acceptable.
  • According to the Qur’an, this should not be the situation.
  • Allow the woman and her family to place their faith in God, who is the true provider of all.
  • The spouse is also intended to be reminded that God is the source of all good things.
  • God, who has given him with all he has spent on his wife, may furnish him with even more from His boundless resources.
  • However, in the later example it is simply stated: “If you (i.e.
  • A notable difference between a husband and a woman is the addition of the wordi’radh, which means turning away or becoming indifferent, and the absence of this word.

There is another distinction between the two situations in that when the husband is afraid ofnushuzon on the part of the wife, he can separate the wife from the husband in bed and lightly beat her, whereas when the wife is afraid ofnushuzon on the part of the husband, such measures are not suggested to her.

As an alternative, because women are often physically weaker than males, the Qur’an acknowledges that it would be difficult for a woman to carry out such steps against her husband, as has been widely recognized.

However, this does not imply that Islam abandons women to the whims of their husbands or other male relatives.

If, despite being a Muslim, a husband fails to respect the principles outlined in the Qur’an and, instead of peacefully settling matters with his wife, shows neither the inclination to treat her as a husband should treat a wife nor allows her to go in an amaruf It is terrible that Muslim nations have not yet developed such a proper legal framework to provide women with enough protection against their more powerful marital partners, should these more powerful husbands leave love and compassion and turn nasty against these women.

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