How To Get Married In Islam? (Question)

•The requirements of Nikah

  1. Mutual (consent)agreement (Ijab-O-Qubul) by the bride and the groom.
  2. Two adult and sane witnesses, (Ash-Shuhud ), 2 males or 1 male and 2 females.
  3. Mahr (marriage-gift) to be paid by the groom to the bride either immediately (muajjal) or deferred (muakhkhar), or a combination of both.

What are the basics requirements of marriage in Islam?

  • There are basic requirements for marriage in Islam. First, a couple must mutually consent to the marriage. 13. This requires both a clear proposal and acceptance. 14. A woman also must have a wali or legal guardian present during the process. 15. If a wali is not present a woman must be past puberty and competent to make. 3. Quran 30:21. 4.

Contents

How do you marry in Islam?

Normally, the ceremony consists of reading from the Qur ‘an, and the exchange of vows in front of witnesses for both partners. No special religious official is necessary, but often the Imam is present and performs the ceremony. He may give a short sermon. There are certain things which are basic to all Muslim marriages.

What are the requirements for nikah?

The conditions of Nikah

  • Mutual (consent) agreement (Ijab-O-Qubul) by the bride and the groom.
  • Legal guardian Wali ( Muslim ) or his representative, wakeel, ” representing “the bride.
  • Two adult and sane Muslim witnesses, (Ash-Shuhud ), 2 males or 1 male and 2 females.

How can I get married fast in Islam?

Recite Bismillah 19 times then read the verse number 129 of Surah Tauba for 1100 times. Read Durood Sharif 100 times and Bismillah 19 times in the end. This will make the marriage procedure quick and fast.

How much does a nikkah cost?

Its about 25000 fee for the Nikah. The booking will have to be made in their office. I shall also provide the number soon For Food, you can book buffet in One of the Roof Top restaurants in the near by food street

Can we do nikah on phone?

Though it is the in thing, ulema maintain that there is no such thing as nikah on phone. Merely taking marriage vows on phone is not valid as there is no proof and ample scope for conflict later. As per the Islamic jurisprudence, “Ittehad-e-Majlis’ is a necessary condition for a valid contract of marriage.

Can we do nikah two times with the same person?

Yes, you can perform nikah with your wife/husband any number of times you want, as long as there is no declaration of divorce between the various nikah ceremonies.

Can we do nikah without parents?

A nikah done without the consent of the parents/father of the bride is illegal in Islam. And if the husband and wife physically interact on the basis of this nikah, it will be treated as zina.

Where do Muslims get married?

Traditionally, the Nikah ceremony often takes place in a mosque and the leader or imam of the mosque officiates the Nikah. Most couples will set up a time for the Nikah and invite family and friends to attend the ceremony.

Who pays for Nikah in Islam?

In India, it’s typically the bride’s side that pays for the wedding (Nikah). Indian weddings are massive affairs and it not uncommon for a wedding to have more than 500 attendees.

How long is nikah valid?

Yes, a marriage is still in place until the formal pronouncements of “I divorce you!” have been said at the start of month 1, then repeated 3 months later, then another 3 months later. Of course if sexual congress never took place, the marriage is automatically annulled after 3 months.

How many witnesses do you need to get married in Islam?

Witnessing. In Sunni Islam, a marriage contract must have at least two witnesses. Proper witnessing is critical to the validation of the marriage, also acting as a protection against suspicions of adulterous relationships.

Do Muslims wear wedding rings?

Over the years, Muslims adopted the idea of wearing wedding rings, without any basis in Islamic history. Wearing wedding rings is not considered unlawful in Islam, but it is a habit introduced into Muslim culture rather than stemming from it.

How Does a Muslim Get Married?

The beauty of the holy tie of marriage is described by Allah Almighty in the Holy Quran as follows: And among His signs that He has made for you – from inside yourself — are spouses, who are to live together in harmony. And He established a bond of affection and kindness between you. There are genuine indications in this for those who take the time to consider them. (Ar-Rum30:21) In Islam, husband and wife do not just become “one” when they are married; they have truly been “one” since the beginning of time.

Allah Almighty formed Hawaa (Eve) from Adam, and as a result, women and men are literally one from the beginning of time.

It is essential that you follow the Islamic Marriage (Nikah) process exactly as it is laid out in order to avoid ending up with a marriage that is completely different from what you envisioned in the first place.

Let’s have a look at the process of getting married in an Islamic tradition.

Choosing your Spouse

Making the right choice at the outset of a marriage is critical to its long-term effectiveness. If someone comes to you and you are delighted with their deen and character (khuluq), you should marry them, according to Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) who narrated Allah’s Messenger (may Allah be pleased with him). (Tirmidhi)He (peace be upon him) also stated that a woman may be married for four reasons: for her property, her social standing, her beauty, and her religion; therefore, strive to find one who is religious, lest your hand be coated with dust as a result of your efforts.

Who said your spouse couldn’t be attractive or wealthy, or any combination of the two?

Mutual Agreement Between Bride and Groom

Both the bride and groom must give their agreement to the marriage, and it is against Islamic law to coerce anybody into a marriage; if this occurs, the marriage contract is instantly dissolved. Both the bride and the groom have the freedom to establish additional terms and conditions of their choosing and include them as part of this contract as well. If a divorce is ultimately needed, it is advised that they first attempt to resolve their differences, and if they are still unwilling to break the marriage, this is permitted because the marriage contract in Islam is not considered a sacrament.

Mahr

The marriage-gift (mahr) is an act of divine command. The groom’s gift of mahr to the bride is an integral aspect of the marriage contract. Also, offer the ladies their mahr as a (nikah) free present when they are united in marriage. (An-Nisaa4:4) This token promise of the husband’s responsibilities may be provided in cash, property, or moveable things to the bride herself as a mark of the husband’s commitment. Although the quantity of mahr is not regulated by law, it is advised that it be kept in moderation in accordance with current societal norms.

The postponed mahr, on the other hand, becomes payable in the event of death or divorce.

The contract is drafted and signed by the bride and groom, as well as their two respective witnesses, before being exchanged. This written marriage contract (‘Aqd-Nikah’) is then made public after it has been signed.

Sermon

During the marriage ceremony, the Muslim performing the wedding addressed the assembled Nikhis with a marriage sermon (khutba-tun-nikah). Nikahceremonies are traditionally performed in Muslim nations by a Muslim judge (Qadi) appointed by the government, who also retains a record of the marriage contract. However, because Islam does not support the practice of priesthood, any trustworthy practicing Muslim can perform theNikahceremony. The paperwork pertaining to the marriage contract/certificate are submitted with the mosque (masjid) and the local government for the purpose of keeping a record of them.

  • A life of piety, mutual love, compassion, and social duty are encouraged in the discourse, which is addressed to the bride and groom as well as the assembled guests.
  • It is hoped that he will be of assistance and direction.
  • The basic text of the marriage is comprised of three Quranic verses (Quran 4:1, 3:102, and 33:70-71) and one Prophetic saying (hadith), which are all taken from the Quran.
  • I watch them quickly and then cease my observation of them; I also married a lady.
  • (Bukhari) The Muslim who is administering the marriage ceremony closes the event with a prayer (Dua) for the bride and groom, their respective families, the local Muslim community, and the Muslim community at large, according to Islamic tradition.
  • It is desirable to have the event at a mosque and keep it as simple as possible.
  • Simplicity is encouraged in Islamic rites and festivities, according to Islamic teachings.

Primary Requirements

1.A mutual agreement (Ijab-O-Qubul) between the bride and groom2.Two witnesses who are both adults and of sound mind 3.Mahr (marriage-gift), which must be given by the groom to the bride either immediately (muajjal) or postponed (muakhkhar), or a combination of the twoPages:12 – 13

Nikah Ceremony: Everything You Need to Know

Due to the fact that marriage is a practice established by Prophet Muhammad, the Muslim wedding ceremony, also known as the Nikah ceremony, is one of the most honored rituals in Islam. With more than 1.9 billion Muslims in the world, the traditions followed at a wedding can vary greatly depending on families, sects, and cultures, but the fundamentals of the Nikah ceremony and getting married as a Muslim are always the same regardless of where you are from or what religion you practice.

What Is the Nikah Ceremony?

The Nikah ceremony is the Muslim equivalent of the wedding ceremony. The Nikah is the Islamic ceremony in which the marriage contract is signed, and it is also the occasion at which the bride and groom exchange their vows of fidelity. Nikah ceremonies are often held at mosques, with the Nikah ceremony being officiated by the mosque’s head or imam, according to tradition. The majority of couples will schedule a time for the Nikah and ask their family and friends to attend the event. According to Islamic custom, the Nikah should be as basic as possible in order to avoid placing an undue financial burden on the newlywed couple.

The Meaning of the Nikah Ceremony

The Nikah is a religious rite that allows a Muslim couple to be lawfully wed under Islamic law through the institution of marriage. It is a Prophetic tradition, and it is the only legal means in which a man and a woman can be united in marriage. This ritual formalizes the marriage since, according to Islamic tradition, it is not acceptable for a couple to be intimate without first obtaining a Nikah. This ceremony legitimizes the connection in the eyes of God, and it occurs when the couple declares, “I accept.” “Marriage is regarded as a blessing in Islam,” says Imam Steve Mustafa Elturk, “and it is considered to be a very essential element of the faith.” Meet the Subject Matter Expert Islamic Organization of North America (IONA) President Steve Mustafa Elturk is based in Warren, Michigan, and serves as the organization’s spiritual leader.

Is quite involved in the Muslim community and is well regarded as a leader and counselor.

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Nikah Ceremony Requirements

To begin the Nikah procedure, just like with any other marriage, someone must make the proposal. Imam Elturk emphasizes that the proposal can be made by either the lady or the man, as long as the purpose is to marry the person. Contrary to the customs of many cultures, where it is more typical for a man to propose, in Islam it is possible for a woman (or her family) to do so, “as it was the case with Khadijah, the first wife of the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him,” according to Elturk.

The Acceptance

The Qubool signifies acceptance of the proposal—although you are not required to respond yes straight away. Couples are permitted to meet as many times as they choose to get to know one another during the period between the proposal and acceptance, provided that the meetings take place in public or within close vicinity of a chaperone. During this period, Imam Elturk always recommends couples to ask questions and determine whether or not they are compatible. It is possible for the Nikah ceremony to take place once both partners have decided they wish to proceed and make it official.

The Witnesses

If you want to perform the Nikah, you must have at least two male witnesses who can swear to the fact that both the bride and groom say, “I do,” or “Qubool,” of their own free will and without being coerced by family members or anybody else.

It has to be both the bride and the groom who are in agreement.

The Mahr

The Mahr is an obligatory present from the groom to the bride, which can be requested by the bride or her immediate relatives. The majority of the time, the bride settles on a certain amount of money. Other times, the bride may request a trip, gold, or anything else she desires as a wedding gift. Of course, she is urged to be fair and to consider her prospective husband’s salary while making financial decisions. As well as representing duty, the Mahr represents the man’s obligation to provide for and take care of his wife.

The Wali

He is the father of the bride, and he is the one who “gives away” his daughter. It is explained by Imam Elturk that the Wali obtains approval from the bride; he does not offer consent on her behalf without first requesting it from her. The position of father can be filled by another male guardian or relative in the event that the father is deceased or unable to “guide her down the aisle,” as the saying goes.

The Nikah

Providing all of the conditions have been satisfied, anybody can perform the Nikah ceremony. The bride and groom say the word “qubool” (which means “I accept”) three times together. The contract, which can be provided by the imam or created by the couple, is then signed by the couple and the two male witnesses, so establishing the marriage as lawful under both civil and religious legislation.

Nikah Ceremony FAQs

It is customary for the bride and groom to not exchange wedding vows. He notes that a chapter or two of verses from the Quran, the Muslim holy book, will frequently be recited, as well as a brief lecture, or khutba, on various topics such as the purpose of marriage and the rights and obligations that each spouse has.

Will the event be segregated?

It is customary for the bride and groom to say their vows together before their wedding. As explained by Imam Elturk, a short sermon, or khutba, is delivered by the imam or officiant, who may speak on the purpose of marriage, the rights and duties of the husband and wife, or a related issue.

What should I wear?

It is essential to dress correctly for a Nikah, especially if the ceremony is taking place in a mosque. It is preferable to dress officially but modestly at such occasions. Visiting a mosque requires that both men and women cover their legs and arms, with some mosques requiring that women wear a headscarf. You are free to wear any color you like, but visitors are urged to dress up and join in the celebration with the newlyweds. Don’t be scared to inquire about the preferences of the bride and groom.

Will there be music?

Even if the Nikah is held at a mosque, it is doubtful that there will be any musical accompaniment. The fact that it is a religious occasion means that music and dancing are not very prevalent. While some families may not have music if the celebration is not taking place at the mosque, others may choose to play light background music after the ritual has concluded.

Will there be food?

Yes! It is rare for Muslims to attend a gathering without bringing food. If the ceremony is place at a mosque, the celebration is occasionally divided into two parts: after the ceremony, sweets may be distributed to commemorate the new union, and supper may be eaten at a different venue after that.

The sort of cuisine served will differ depending on the family and their cultural background.

Will alcohol be served?

Alcohol is prohibited in Islam, and as a result, alcoholic beverages are rarely (if ever) provided at any Muslim gathering.

How to Plan a Nikah Ceremony

Once the couple has consented to get married, preparing a Nikah is similar to planning other occasions, with the exception that the first step is to ensure that all religious criteria are met. Couples will frequently choose a date and a location for their wedding. If the Nikah will take place at a mosque, make sure the time and date are verified with the imam before inviting your family and friends to attend. In addition, the couple must select whether or not they will serve dinner at a different place.

Obtain two male relatives to serve as witnesses, often one from each side of the family, and make a decision on a Mahr before the wedding so that there is no uncertainty or embarrassment on the day of the ceremony.

The all-white wedding of the West has had a significant impact on Nikahs in recent years, and couples will frequently utilize whites, creams, and golds for the décor, which will appear simple and elegant.

A small table adjacent should be set up for signing the marriage certificate, as well as some sweets to hand out to guests immediately following the wedding ceremony.

BBC – Religions – Islam: Weddings

Muslim weddings differ greatly depending on the culture of the individuals who are getting married. Many people in the United Kingdom, for example, mistakenly believe that the festivities at a Pakistani or Bangladeshi wedding are the same as those at an Islamic wedding and that they are the same thing. The reality is that many Muslims who marry come from quite various cultures – European, Turkish, African, Malaysian, and so on – and hence have very varied backgrounds. Second, it is critical to recognize that the term “wedding” can refer to a variety of distinct things.

Oddly enough, despite the fact that mosques are clearly places of worship, the vast majority of them in the United Kingdom have not yet been officially registered as such.

Having said that, it is a reality that many couples these days live together as ‘partners,’ and that ‘common law spouses’ have lately been granted a variety of legal privileges that they were not previously entitled to.

Muslim law

When a person gets legally married in Islam, this includes both the religious ceremony and meeting the legal requirements of the law of the nation – something that is not of primary significance to some Muslims. Islamic marriages performed without formal registration, on the other hand, place the safety of their female relatives in jeopardy, and their offspring are not considered legitimate under UK law – and no Muslim should desire to put his wife and children in this difficult position. Marriages in Islam are not thought to be’made in heaven’ between’soul-mates’ who were intended to be together; they are also not considered to be sacraments.

  1. If and when such contracts are breached, any partner has the right to seek a divorce from the other.
  2. Most marriages, on the other hand, are entered into with the greatest of intentions, and the state of marriage is often viewed as the most perfect way for Muslims to live.
  3. Muslims are prohibited from engaging in sexual intimacy outside of marriage, which includes all types of relationships, including gay and heterosexual ones.
  4. True Muslims will follow the laws and will only have one sexual partner for the rest of their life, according to Islamic law.
  5. As a result, divorced women might have difficulty finding a new mate.
  6. The majority of Muslim weddings are extremely happy, even when the couple has not met each other prior to the marriage and has placed their confidence in their parents’ ability to find them a suitable partner.

Polygyny

At the time of the revelation of the Qur’an, it was common practice for males to have more than one woman, up to the point where their capacity to maintain them was no longer sufficient. In addition, powerful and rich women were known to have several partners in their married arrangements. In contrast to other religions, Islam permits a man to have more than one wife, up to a maximum of four wives at the same time – provided that this is not done to the prejudice and harm of his present Muslim spouse, which is prohibited (s).

For those who believe they are incapable of treating everyone with compassion, love, and meticulous justice, God forbids them from taking more than one wife at a time.

In Islam, not every couple has their physical marriage consummated right once; occasionally the girl is too young, and it is thought more appropriate to wait until she is a little older.

A wedding contract can be prepared, signed, and witnessed without the bride being present or expecting to live with her spouse immediately after the wedding ceremony is over.

It is possible for people from quite different backgrounds to be extremely happy together if their knowledge and practice of Islam are compatible.

Mahr and the ceremony

Before being married, a Muslim husband and prospective bride must come to an agreement on a financial arrangement. A common occurrence in Muslim weddings is that the parents of the young people arrange the unions. Although this is not a requirement under Islamic law, parents are advised to do all in their power to see that their children are married to good life mates. Although divorce is permitted, it is preferable to settle down with a life partner, and divorce is thought to be the thing that God dislikes the least out of all the things that He does permit.

As a result, they are shielded from the business of ‘falling in love,’ which can lead to all kinds of heartaches as well as skewed judgment, unsuitable relationships, and tragic consequences.

Unfortunately, there have been instances of this occurring in the United Kingdom among Muslims, Hindus, and Sikhs from the Indian subcontinent – but increased public awareness and education about Islam is helping to improve the situation swiftly.

A Muslim girl (or boy) is supposed to be a virgin at the time of her first marriage, as is the case for all Muslims.

Mahr

Before being married, a Muslim husband and prospective bride must come to an agreement on a financial arrangement. These funds are referred to as themahr, and they are a payment provided to the bride that she is free to keep and use as she sees fit. The rationale for this is that even if the girl has nothing, she will become a bride who will have property of her own when she marries. Alternatively, if the bride subsequently seeks a divorce, which the husband does not want, she is permitted to return the money and pursue what is known as an akhuldivorce.

A bride (or her family) may request a very large mahr on occasion.

Although it is not required of a Muslim wife to spend her own money on her husband or family, a Muslim husband is required to be able to provide for his wife and children on his own dime, regardless of her financial situation.

The ceremony

Anikah is the name given to the real Muslim wedding ceremony. It is a straightforward ceremony at which the bride is not need to be present as long as she sends two witnesses to the agreement that has been written out. Typically, the ceremony includes a reading from the Qur’an as well as the exchanging of vows in front of witnesses who are present for both couples. There is no requirement for a particular religious authority, however the Imam is frequently present and performs the ceremony. He may choose to deliver a brief sermon.

  • Marriages must be announced in a public forum.
  • This is frequently accomplished by the holding of a grand feast, orwalimah- a celebration held particularly for the goal of announcing to the world that the pair is married and entitled to each other’s affection.
  • The bride and groom may be required to sit on ‘thrones’ on a platform so that they can be seen by all of the guests during the reception.
  • A typical white wedding gown is preferred by the vast majority of women, although ladies from the Asian subcontinent sometimes choose for a shalwar-qameez suit in crimson with gold thread, with their hands and feet decorated with henna.
  • Other Muslims hold quiet celebrations with only their closest friends and family in attendance.

There may be dancing, gunfire, a lot of noise, and a lot of humor in certain cultures. Traditionally, Asian weddings will involve pre-nuptial festivities and gatherings as well – the entire procedure might take several days.

Muslim Wedding Ceremony Rituals

Barbara Alessandra Photography is owned and operated by Barbara Alessandra. Throughout the world, from the United States to the Middle East to South Asia, Islam occupies a variegated terrain of politics and culture, with adherents and practices that are as different as the nations from which they are sprung. Islamic marriage is seen as a religious duty, a contract between the couple and Allah, rather than a civil union. Whether you are organizing a Muslim wedding or are attending your first Muslim wedding, it is crucial to learn the historical and cultural customs of Muslim weddings in order to be prepared.

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Practices

The signing of a marriage contract is the sole necessity for a Muslim wedding, and it is optional. Culture, Islamic sect, and following of gender separation restrictions all influence how marriage rituals are practiced in different countries. The vast majority of weddings do not take place in mosques, and men and women stay segregated during the ceremony and celebration. Due to the fact that Islam does not recognize any formal clergy, any Muslim who is familiar with Islamic practice can officiate at a wedding.

The following is a reminder to wedding guests: If the Muslim wedding ceremony is held in a Mosque, you will be required to remove your shoes before entering the Mosque.

Meher

A meher is included in the marriage contract, which is a legal document that specifies the monetary amount that the groom will provide to the bride. In the case of the meher, there are two parts: a quick payment required before the marriage is consummated, and a delayed payment provided to the bride throughout the course of her life. Because the groom offers the ring during the ceremony, many couples nowadays utilize the ring as a cue to remind them of their engagement. The delayed amount might be a modest sum—just a formality—or a substantial present of money, property, jewels, or even an education.

Unless the marriage is terminated before it can be consummated, the gift is the property of the bride to be used as she wishes.

Nikah

Marriage contracts are signed during a ceremony known as a nikah, during which the groom or his agent proposes to the bride in front of at least two witnesses, while saying that the meher will be present. The bride and groom exhibit their free will by saying the phrase qabul (which means “I accept” in Arabic) three times together. After that, the contract is signed by the couple and two male witnesses, which makes the marriage valid under both civil and religious laws.

If the couple want to adhere to traditional Islamic traditions, they may choose to share a piece of sweet fruit, such as a date. For weddings in which men and women are separated, a male representative (wali) serves on the bride’s behalf throughout the ceremony.

Vows and Blessings

Following the nikah, the officiant may perform an extra religious ceremony, which often involves the recital of the Fatihah—the first chapter of the Quran—and the recitation of durud (blessings). The majority of Muslim couples do not exchange wedding vows; instead, they listen attentively while their officiant speaks on the meaning of marriage and their responsibilities to one another and to Allah. Some Muslim brides and grooms, however, do exchange vows, such as the following customary recitation: The bride says, “I’m going to be your bridesmaid, and I’m going to be your maid of honor.” “As instructed by the Holy Quran and the Holy Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, I, (bride’s name), make this offer to you in line with the laws of Islam.

What Guests Should Wear to a Muslim Wedding

In addition to the nikah, the officiant may choose to perform an extra religious ceremony, which often involves reading of the Fatihah (the first chapter of the Quran) and the recital of the durud (blessings). The majority of Muslim couples do not exchange wedding vows; instead, they listen attentively while their officiant speaks on the essence of marriage and their responsibilities to one another and to God. The following is a popular recitation used by some Muslim brides and grooms as their vows, however: “I’m getting married,” the bride says.

As your wife, I promise to be loyal and devoted to you in all things, with honesty and sincerity.” ‘I promise to be a devoted and helpful husband to you,’ says the groom, with honesty and sincerity.

The Bride’s Wedding Outfit

Following the completion of the wedding ceremony, the Muslim bride is customarily attired in an expensive gown by various civilizations. This gown is frequently embellished with pearls, gold, and gemstones. For those attending their first Muslim wedding, it is a sight to witness.

Separating Genders

Gender separation is a common feature of many Muslim rituals, especially those pertaining to Muslim wedding ceremonies. Even though not every Muslim couple may choose for a gender-separated wedding, more traditional ceremonies will keep men and women apart during the ceremony. At the reception, men and women may choose to celebrate in separate rooms, be separated by a wall, or simply sit at different tables. Non-Muslim visitors may be seated alongside guests of the opposite gender in some instances.

Walima – The Wedding Feast

Prepare yourself for a meal. There’s a lot of it. Following the signing of the wedding contract, it is time to celebrate. This is referred to as the Walima, and it may include traditional symbols of fertility and abundance like as fish, chicken, rice, and candy-covered almonds, among other things. Because the walima can continue up to two days in various Muslim societies, it is important to wear garments that have some give to them. The Muslim faith restricts the intake of alcoholic beverages, thus guests should be informed of this.

Have no idea where to begin with your wedding preparations?

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10 Steps to Prepare Yourself for Marriage as a Muslim

READ:7 Ways to Be a Happier Muslimah When You’re Single Submitted by Roba (in collaboration with Team AYEINA) You’ve probably said things like, “It’s okay, once I get married, my temper will calm down,” or “I’ll never harm my husband and children with my words the way I did today with my parents or siblings – I’ll change and be better,” or anything along those lines. In the same way, society believes a person will change after they are married, and hence a spouse should be sought for them in order for them to finally overcome their life-long negative behaviors.

Indeed, there are indicators for individuals who take the time to think about things.

Using this delusional notion, it is suggested that change occurs after marriage and that two different people are transformed into a harmonious couple who have been completely separated from all of their previous habits, mannerisms, and behaviors in order to fulfill their marital obligations perfectly.

We are all flawed human beings who will never be flawless, but we may attempt to improve ourselves as much as we can in order to be able to expect the same characteristics from our spouse in return.

1.Work on yourself firstand try to become the person you want your spouse to be

For us to progress and evolve into better versions of ourselves as Muslims, we must continue to develop and transform. Individuals’ personal development and spiritual progress will take on diverse shapes and forms. Determine what you need to improve and begin working on it immediately, rather than waiting until you are married or have children to do it. Awareness and growth of one’s own self is a lengthy and arduous process that requires years of effort and dedication. Start now, before you come to the conclusion that it is too late to make a change since certain behaviors have been embedded in your character.

In the words of the Messenger of Allah , “The one who is most complete among the believers in faith is also the one who has the best character among them.” “And the most admirable among you are those who are most admirable to your ladies.” In a similar vein, we prepare ahead of time for major events in our life such as job interviews, exams, and other critical events.

However, this isn’t even close to being accurate, and not just because marriage is a tough path to begin on, but because it is seen as a sanctity in Islam and hence should not be taken lightly. It may seem strange, but try to imagine yourself as the person you’d like to marry.

2. Ask others about your flaws (things that you may not know need to be worked on)

We have an obligation as Muslims to continue improving and evolving into better versions of ourselves. It is possible that various persons will experience varying levels of personal development or spiritual growth. Make a list of what you need to improve and get to work on it right away rather than waiting till you’re married or have children. Awareness and growth of one’s own self is a long and arduous process that requires years of effort and commitment. Don’t wait until it’s too late to make a change since some behaviors have been entrenched in your personality to get started now!

“The most complete among the believers in faith is the one who possesses the greatest character among them,” the Messenger of Allah stated.

The same is true for preparing in advance for an interview, a test, or any other major event in our life.

While this is not entirely incorrect, it is not because marriage is a tough path to begin, but rather because it is regarded as sacred in Islam and should not be treated lightly.

3.Improve your conflict-resolution skills

This is something I cannot express enough. It is, in my opinion, one of the most essential variables that may determine whether a marriage is joyful or sad, depending on the circumstances. After hearing a billion times that marriage is not all rainbows and butterflies, I’m sure you’ve come to the conclusion that it is. It may be a cliche, but it is still true. However, the more you learn about the process of dealing with disagreements rather than thinking that you and your spouse would never disagree on anything, the happier you and your spouse will be together.

  1. Check out AYEINA’s notes from the “ART OF NEGOTIATION” workshop in the slideshow above!
  2. Get rid of the “fighting, yelling, and profanity are all natural responses.” We must abandon the “we’ll always make up” mindset and learn to express our rage in a respectable manner.
  3. Take a break from the conversation and go create wudu, if possible.
  4. In the words of Allah’s Messenger (a.s.), Iblis establishes his throne on water and then dispatches detachments (for the purpose of causing division); those who are closer to him in rank are those who are most known for causing disagreement.

They then join together and declare, “I did not spare so and so until I had sown the seeds of dissension between a husband and his wife.” “You’ve done a good job,” says the Devil when he approaches him. He then embraces him, according to A’mash.

4. Be happy for your married friends and make dua for them

Be genuinely delighted for them that they are happy. Make dua to Allah (SWT) to bless their marriages and to provide you the same blessings that they have received from Allah (SWT). During his time on earth, the Prophet Muhammad (saw) declared, “The petition of a Muslim for his (Muslim) brother in his absence would undoubtedly be answered.” Every time he makes a plea for the well-being of his brother, the angel assigned to this specific mission responds with the words: ‘A meen!’ “May it be so for you as well.”

5.Make dua for yourself with details and ask for khair in it all

When I mention “details,” I’m referring to each and every small precise detail. Inquire of Allah about the qualities you are looking for in a marriage. Their deen, akhlaq (manners), appearance, and personality, among other things. Everything, to be precise. The Almighty, in contrast to human individuals, expresses delight in our supplications and prayers. And then beg for khair in whatever it is that you are asking of Him.

6. Do not pause your life until marriage

If you’ve been thinking about beginning a project, now is the time to get started. Do not put it off any longer. You are not need to get married in order to achieve your objectives. Why? In order to continue with what you started, you need someone who will support and motivate you to do so. It is true that you will have to prioritize your lives together, but with the support of your husband, you will be able to achieve your goals as well, in shaa Allah. Even when children are involved in the event.

You will be rewarded for whatever you are able to do throughout any particular era of your life.

Similarly, if someone has the intention to do a good deed but does not follow through with it, Allah will write for him a full good deed (in his account with Him); and if someone has the intention to do a good deed but does not follow through with it, Allah will write for him (in his account with Him) a full good deed (with a reward ranging from ten to seven hundred times to many more times; and if someone has the intention to

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7. Know your rights as well as spouse’s rights

I fully agree that every married couple should be required to take an Islamic marriage course that teaches them the fundamentals of spousal rights and responsibilities. We don’t have to take a driving test to get a license, do we? Why not apply the same principle to marriage? Knowing both of your rights will save you a lot of time and energy from getting involved in pointless quarrels and conflicts. Allah (SWT) knows us better than we know ourselves, and as a result, he has given specific tasks and rights on everyone of us in accordance with his knowledge.

Both of you will become more committed in finding methods to make each other happy if you put forth effort to fulfill the rights of your spouse and he puts forth effort to do the same for you.

Here’s a link to Dr. Bilal Philips’ FIQH OF MARRIAGEcourse (AYEINA did not take it, but she personally profited from it and provided her notes in the slides below):

8. Clearly know what qualities you absolutely need in your spouse vs what you want (what you can compromise on)

Interestingly, the more you work on yourself, the better you’ll be at distinguishing between what you desire in a spouse and what you require in a marriage. It is possible that you desire a partner who has a sense of humour, but you also want someone who is supportive of you. To put it another way, you might be able to compromise on your wants, but not on your necessities. If you want to get married, don’t settle for anyone simply to get married. When marriage is conducted for the purpose of Allah, it transforms into a lovely, safe haven for both spouses and children.

  • The religious, if you choose them.
  • What is more important to him or her: pleasing Allah (SWT) or pleasing people?
  • When you have multiple alternatives for a marriage, istishaara (talking with knowledgeable people around you) is a vital element of the process of selecting one.
  • Consulting with intelligent, virtuous persons in your immediate vicinity who can provide you with sound advise about your circumstance may be really beneficial.
  • “People never seek guidance unless they are directed to the finest option accessible to them,” Al-Hasan asserted.

10. Seek Allah’s help through Istikhara

After making a choice, remember to pray the Istikhara and to follow through with whatever decision you have made. The beauty of this prayer is that it provides you with a sense of tranquility. After you have completed your part of the course (for example, making your decision in line with Islamic principles and practices), you should pray to Allah to guide you to the correct conclusion. If you place your affairs in the hands of Allah (SWT), you will be filled with a profound sense of security, knowing that whatever happens next will be khair (good) for you inshaa Allah.

It’s hard to imagine anything more reassuring than asking your own Creator and the Most Merciful to lead you.

‘I will not do anything until I have spoken with my Lord,’ she stated. “She went to her prayer location, and the Qur’an was revealed to her.” Remember:

  • However, it is vital to note that when you get married is not as significant as who you marry
  • Although the time of your wedding is not vital, the person with whom your wedding is held is crucial.
  • Make the decision to develop yourself for the sake of Allah (SWT) first, and your interactions with other people will improve as a result.
  • Allah (SWT) may not have responded to your Dua at this time, but it is possible that He is directing you to improve yourself in order to be prepared for the blessing of marriage bi’idhnillah.

We ask Allah (SWT) to bless all Muslim men and women who are blessed with a decent spouse and who are following in the footsteps of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). Aameen. Co-author’sBio: My name is Roba, and I’d want to greet you in the name of Allah. Currently, I am 29 years old and have always had a strong desire to pursue two things in life: writing and Islam. According to Allah, I can assist you in leading an Islamic lifestyle as a Muslimah through my blog and Instagram profile @inspiredbyaisha_.

READ: The Dos and Don’ts of Istikhara (with a FREE printable dua)

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Muslim conferences and conventions (such as the one being conducted by the Islamic Society of North America) are organized to educate and empower Muslims. Imam W. D. Mohammad) are just a few of the numerous sites where Muslims in North America frequently meet possible wives, either to make a final selection or to begin the marriage communication process. Fundraising dinners, regional seminars, talks, in the house of a family or friend, and the local mosque are all examples of other possible venues.

The sight or hearing of possible prospects meeting in secret, brothers and sisters “scoping the territory” for a spouse who is attractive at Muslim gatherings such as conferences and lectures, or initiating a flirty conversation with someone they are interested in is not unusual.

When meeting or looking for a possible spouse at a conference, lecture, mosque, or other event, you should examine the following Islamic principles, both general and relevant to your situation.

1. Ask yourself: Why am I getting married.

Regardless of whether you are meeting with the individual to make a final choice, this is an excellent topic to ask since it will serve as a reminder of the true purpose of marriage from an Islamic perspective. Marriage is an integral aspect of the Islamic religion, and it is also an integral part of the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him. In addition, “my objective should be that I am seeking for someone with whom I may start a family,” says Imam Muhammad Nur Abdullah, a member of the North American Fiqh Council in the United States.

As he continues, “Marriage is a commitment and a partnership that begins in this Dunya (earth) and will continue Insha Allah in Paradise together.”

2. Ask yourself: what am I looking for in a spouse.

According to Abu Hurairah, the Prophet said: “Men chose women for four reasons: for their money, for their status, for their beauty, and for their religion; nevertheless, marry a religious woman and you will succeed” (Bukhari, Muslim). This, of course, holds true for both men and women. Religion, on the other hand, does not appear to be always in the forefront of many people’s thoughts. In fact, it’s probably the last point on the list for far too many Muslims. The ability to practice medicine or law, according to Tasneem Qadeer, a volunteer with the Islamic Society of North America’s marriage service, is far more significant to many Muslim women than religious piety.

One of the most common requirements for a bride is that she be “fair, thin, and lovely,” as seen by several matrimonial adverts in Islamic media.

Among her accomplishments is being a co-developer of the program “Marriage the Islamic way,” which teaches many elements of marriage, including how to locate a partner, how to get married, and how to maintain a healthy post-wedding marriage connection.

3. If you’re looking for a spouse lower your gaze.

This may appear to be a contradiction at first glance, but it is not. Looking for a partner who possesses the necessary characteristics and who you are physically attracted to does not relieve you of the need to reduce the gaze for both sexes in public places. I want you to tell the believing men to keep their look low and to be modest. That is more suitable for them. Lo! Allah is well aware of what they are up to” (Quran 24:30). The believing ladies should drop their eyes and be modest, displaying just what is visible of their ornamentation, and drawing the veil over their bosoms, according to the Prophet.

From this point of view, “scoping the region” would be considered unacceptable under Islamic law.

Abdullah further points out that there is no limit to the number of times the two persons can stare at each other at the same moment in the game.

A guy is not permitted to see a potential bride without wearing Hijab, because he is not her Mahram, according to the author of the article (a relative with whom marriage is not possible, or her husband).

4. Get someone to help

Making the decision to be married is not something you should do on your alone. In order to find the correct spouse or to establish and participate in a communication process with a Muslim partner, it is extremely vital to enlist the assistance of someone, particularly parents, relatives, an Imam, and/or recognized and trustworthy members of the Muslim community. It should be noted that including others does not imply that you are giving up your right to say yes or no to a marriage proposal. It just enhances the possibility of learning crucial information about a prospective spouse in a manner that adheres to Islamic modesty requirements.

  • not meeting alone, see next point).
  • This individual (or group of individuals) often checks references, inquires about the individual’s character and conduct, and generally watches out for your best interests.
  • For those fortunate enough to have Muslim parents, keep in mind that they are likely to be your closest advocates and resources in your search for the proper spouse or wife.
  • Parents, on the other hand, must be open and alert to what their children are seeking for, and they must never lose sight of the fact that they have a choice.
  • If they are applying pressure on their own son or daughter, or to the person he or she is interested in, they must never become too forceful or harsh about it.

It is also possible to find a husband or wife through the matrimonial services given by a variety of different Muslim organizations, especially if your parents, other family members, an Imam, or members of the community are not accessible.

5. Always ask for references

This is also when the assistance of a “third party” is beneficial. You may use them as references, but they can also serve as a source of information. The references of a possible match might also be checked out by them. An Imam who knows the brother who proposed to you, a sister who knows the lady you may wish to marry well, a family friend, an employer, a co-worker, and/or a business partner are all examples of people who can serve as references. A word about honesty and references: the individuals you question about your potential spouse may have information about him or her that is not very flattering.

In reality, when a person is looking for a spouse, they should be provided with entire information on the individual, both positive and negative.

“Are you his nearest neighbor in the sense that you are aware of his whereabouts and whereabouts?” Umar inquired.

66, is an example of this.

6. When you meet, don’t be alone

Your “third party” will also come in help at this point. You can use them as references, but they can also serve as a source of information for you. The references of a potential spouse might also be checked out by them. In addition to an Imam who is acquainted with the brother who proposed to you, a sister who is acquainted with the lady whom you may like to marry well, a family friend, a boss, co-workers, and/or a business partner may be asked to provide a reference. Regarding honesty and references, keep in mind that the individuals you question may have information about your prospective spouse that is not particularly favorable.

It is actually necessary to provide entire information about a person when they are seeking marriage, including both positive and negative aspects of their personality.

A guy approached Umar ibn al-Khattab and extolled the virtues of a different individual.

“No.” Is it true that you’ve been with him on a voyage in order to witness proof of his good character?” “No.” Has he engaged in any transactions with you involving dinars and dirhams, which may suggest that he is a very pious individual?” “No.” He was murmuring the Quran and shaking his head up and down in the mosque, and I believe you saw him.” “Yes.” Because you don’t know who he is, leave immediately.

“Go and bring me someone who knows you,” Umar instructed the individual in question.

(Taken from Abdul Wahid Hamid’s Islam The Natural Way, page 66.) Using this information, you may identify three sorts of people to interview about the character of a possible spouse. They could have a neighbor or business associate, or they might have traveled with someone else.

7. When you speak, be businesslike and to the point.

This is also when the assistance of a “third party” is useful. You may use them as references, but they can also act as a source of information. They can also check out the references of a potential match. An Imam who knows the brother who proposed to you, a sister who knows the lady you may wish to marry well, a family friend, an employer, a coworker, and/or a business partner are all examples of people who can serve as references. A word on honesty and references: the individuals you ask may have information about your potential spouse that is not very flattering.

It is actually necessary to provide entire information about a person when they are seeking marriage, including both positive and negative aspects of their character.

“Are you his nearest neighbor, in the sense that you are aware of his whereabouts and whereabouts?” Umar inquired.

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