Who Comes First Wife Or Parents In Islam? (Solution)

Who takes precedence wife or mother in Islam?

  • He said, “Your mother.” He asked, “Then who?” He said, “Your mother.” He asked, “Then who?” He said, “Your mother.” … (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5514; Muslim, 4621). But the wife takes precedence over the mother in one case, and that is the matter of spending.

Who comes first your wife or mother Islam?

You should love and respect both, albeit in different ways. But if there is a disagreement and you must side with one or the other, wife. Spouse comes first, always. Marriage is a sacred covenant that the Almighty has given us and we choose it.

Who comes first spouse or parents?

Many married couples have trouble with the question of who comes first, your spouse or your parents? The answer is your spouse – that’s your first obligation. When you get married, you leave your parents.

Who is more important wife or parents?

A wife can only be the one on whom a man can rely on, other than his mother. They say that “Behind every successful man there is a woman” who can be his mother, wife, sister or friend. A man can be a good husband as well as a good son when he cares for both women in his life.

Who comes first mum or wife?

Originally Answered: Who comes first in a marriage wife or mother? A wife. The bible instructs us to honor our father and mother, but to cleave unto a spouse. They are considered joined, as one.

Should spouse come before parents?

Luckily, you can keep your internal conflict to a minimum by putting your spouse first after you tie the knot. “By-and-large, barring a crisis, I would say that your partner should come first, and know that he or she is the top priority,” Duffy says.

Who comes first after marriage in Islam?

The groom is customarily brought first to the women’s area in order for him to be able to present gifts to his wife’s sister. Although jointly seated, the bride and the groom can only observe one another via mirrors, and a copy of the Quran is placed in between their assigned seats.

Who comes 1st in a marriage?

Your spouse has to come first; always. They have to come first.” Nonetheless, here’s the thing: You only have your kids for 18 years, but you vowed the rest of your life to your spouse, until death do you part.

Who comes first sibling or spouse?

Originally Answered: Who comes first, the spouse or family? Your spouse IS family. If you are talking about relatives, then your spouse and children should always come first, not your parents or your siblings. When my wife and I married 20 years ago, she had one child and I had three.

Who comes first partner or family?

In a relationship the partner should generally come first. If a family member is in a crisis or there is a caring that needs to be done then this will be normal. But generally the partner comes first.

Should a man put his wife first?

Interestingly, research shows that putting your spouse first provides the security, comfort, and stability that helps children thrive. And, when couples put each other first, it sets the stage for a fantastic relationship where each person feels loved, supported, and secure.

What are the signs of a mama’s boy?

To know if you’re dealing with a mama’s boy, look for these signs:

  • His mother’s wish is his command.
  • He wants daily or nearly daily contact with his mom, either via phone or in person.
  • He always chooses her over his spouse or children.
  • He never moved far away from his mom, or even still lives with her.

Should you marry a mama’s boy?

Being married to a mama’s boy isn’t always a bad thing. A man who is close to his mother is not a mama’s boy in a negative way. In fact, research has shown that boys and men who have strong relationships with their mothers are mentally healthier, more empathetic, and have better relationships with women.

Can wife Force husband to leave parents?

If a wife asks or forces her husband to leave his parents for money is totally unjust and unacceptable, and can be a ground to file a divorce. To fortify these values and traditions, the Supreme Court has also held that even married daughters are liable to maintain their parents even after their marriage.

Who comes first in a relationship?

You make your partnership a place where each person fully belongs. Putting your partner first means his or her needs, feelings, and wellbeing take priority over other people or things. A “sense of we” forms as you maintain this priority on purpose each day. You protect your relationship from being destroyed or damaged.

Why should your spouse come first?

Why Your Spouse Comes First “However, it’s actually healthier to make your spouse the first priority.” This is because it benefits all of your family members. If you have an emotionally solid marriage with a good foundation, your children will feel happier, more stable and more secure, Thomas says.

Mufti Menk – Wife or Mother – Who Is First • Muslim Central

Muslim Central is a website dedicated to Muslims throughout the world. No portion of this transcript may be reproduced, referenced, or distributed in any form without the express permission of the author. Transcripts are created automatically, and as a result, they will be erroneous. We are currently developing a system that will allow volunteers to update transcripts, with the goal of launching it before Ramadan 2022 iA. 00:00:00-00:00:44 Assalamu Aleikum (Greetings and Salutations) My wife or my mum, inshallah, who do you think comes first?

Heaven is at her disposal, as well as a great deal more.

That response, on the other hand, is incorrect.

Well, I’ll tell you, they’re both #1 on the list.

  • Allow me to explain.
  • You will like his00:00:44-00:01:35 minutes, if you are a mother who is listening to what I have to say today.
  • Thank you, Allah.
  • Thank you, Allah.
  • However, when there is a disagreement over who comes first, Justice comes first, whether it is with your mother or whether it is with your wife; whomever is right is the one we will follow.
  • In the case of your mother, while you are reprimanding her.
  • You must speak up in defense of justice.
  • Yeah.
  • No, not at all.
  • O you who believe, stand steadfast for the sake of Allah and seek justice.
  • We must maintain our resolve, be just for Allah’s sake, and fight for justice; thus, we must be steady.

This means that if something is done against my mother or father, I will stand with justice and not with my mother or father; if something is done against myself, I will stand with justice and not with my mother or father, and even if something is done against myself, I will stand with justice and not with myself.

  • May Allah subhanho wa Taala provide us wisdom and knowledge.
  • It is imperative that you rectify yourself in the eyes of Allah.
  • 00:02:47-00:03:16 Take a look at Ibrahim alayhi salam, and so many of the messengers throughout history.
  • They didn’t mention you were my parents, therefore I can’t correct you; instead, you should correct them while remaining kind and respectful.
  • Instead of using the phrase obedience, he constantly refers to it as “kindness” or “compassion.” Be considerate to your parents.
  • Allah is at the bottom of the ocean.
  • Whether a verse occurs to be repeated with varied wordings or whether the meaning of a poem is repeated, 00:03:33-00:04:22 Thank you, Subhanallah, for pointing to the same thing and saying, “Be kind to your parents, but obedience is for Allah.” Keep this in mind.

It may be necessary for you to disconnect from others and leave the house at times.

If you talk to them and nothing happens as a result, you may be forced to leave the premises immediately.

May Allah (subhanahu wa taala) offer us insight and knowledge.

But, my dear moms and dads, please be good to your children’s wives, whether they are male or female; please be extremely kind.

Understand.

That’s your husband’s mother; be kind to her, talk to her, and interact with her so that you and your spouse may have a healthier relationship.

Shaytan is a negative character.

And when it comes to kindness, both of them are first.

It’s a whole different kind of love than the others.

To be honest, the kind of love that I have for my mother and for my parents are vastly different from one another.

And it is for this reason that there is a lot of pushing and shoving, as well as a lot of targeting, that occurs in partnerships.

May Allah make things simple for you?

A lot of people from cultural families, claiming to be religious, not standing up for justice, and believing that because this is my parent, I shouldn’t speak out have come to my attention recently.

To be an effective Muslim, you must learn to speak out for what is right in your own life.

And, as I already stated, it makes no difference who it is; this does not imply that those are your parents.

They may be mistaken, and if so, they must be rectified.

You have no right to do that to me.

We can do it, and I can do it.

Ibrahim alayhis salam, did he perform his responsibilities?

Your current course of action is to follow the devil’s lead.

Between 00:07:09 and 00:07:33, his father threatened him.

He took pleasure in it in the sense that he went out because he was in love with Allah to the extent that Allah came first in his thoughts.

Obviously, there are plenty additional examples, but what I’ve simply stated is adequate. Now, may Allah subhanho wa Taala provide us proper knowledge of Kunal Kohli’s hada, which was Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato, which was Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.

Husband’s Priority: Wife or Parents?

Muslim Central is a website that provides information on Muslims across the world. This transcript may not be reproduced, referenced, or distributed in any form without the express permission of the author(s). Auto-generated transcripts are likely to be erroneous because of this. In the meanwhile, we are developing a system that will allow volunteers to modify transcripts, which we plan to have ready by Ramadan 2022 iA 00:00:00-00:00:44 Please accept my sincere greetings. Assalamu Aleikum My wife or my mum, inshallah, who comes first, the answer is obvious.

  1. And so much more is at her disposal in the realm of the supernatural and supernaturalist.
  2. That, however, is not a true response.
  3. Well, I’ll tell you, they’re both #1 on my list of priorities.
  4. When it comes to love, the love you have for your mother is totally different from the love you have for your wife.
  5. Subhan Allah, thank you very much for everything.
  6. Please accept my sincere thanks.
  7. Whenever there is a disagreement over who comes first, Justice comes first, whether it is with your mother or whether it is with your wife; whomever is right is the one we would support.

In the case of your mother, when you are bringing her up to date.

Defending the rights of others is vital.

Are you in love with a man right now?

And in this particular case, there was a problem.

We should maintain our resolve, be just for the sake of Allah, and fight for justice.

As a result, if it is against my mother or father, I will side with justice rather than with my mother or father, and if it is against myself, I will side with justice rather than with my mother or father, and even if it is myself, I will side with justice rather than with my mother or father.

  1. May Allah subhanho wa Taala provide us insight.
  2. It is imperative that you reform yourself in the presence of Allah.
  3. 00:02:47-00:03:16 Examine Ibrahim, alayhi salam, and the other messengers that have come before him.
  4. I cannot correct you since they did not state that you are my parents.
  5. In the Quran, take note of how Allah refers to parents.
  6. Make an effort to be respectful of your parents.
  7. 00:03:18-00:03:20 Wiley Dini, from Benin 00:03:21-00:03:31 In accordance with Allah’s decree, you will worship none other but Him, as well as being considerate to your parents.

It may be necessary for you to disconnect from others and leave the house at some points in time.

In the event that your attempts to communicate with them yield no results, you may be forced to leave the premises altogether.

00:04:22-00:04:59 Allahu taala (God with us) offer us wisdom and insight.

Mothers and dads, please be friendly to your children’s wives, whether they are male or female, and be patient with them.

Understand.

That lady represents the mother of your husband.

No, neither they nor you are in any way undesirable.

00:05:00-00:05:45 If there is a problem or an issue, the answer to the question of who comes first, your mother or your wife, is really that justice must come first in every case.

The two of them come first in the case of Love.

It is extremely different from the way I feel about my mother and how I feel about my husband.

Consequently, I am not stealing anything from one person and giving that same thing to someone else.

And it is for this reason that there is a lot of pushing and shoving, as well as a lot of targeting, that occurs in romantic relationships.

God willing, may it be simple for you.

A lot of people from cultural families, claiming to be religious, not standing up for justice, and believing that because this is my parent, I shouldn’t speak out have come to my attention recently.

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To be an effective Muslim, you must learn to speak out for what is right in your own community.

It doesn’t matter who is talking; it doesn’t imply that those are your parents, as previously said.

Their judgments can be incorrect; thus, they should be rectified.

I won’t allow you to do anything like that.

If we try, we’ll be able to.

Do you know whether Ibrahim, alayhis salam, has completed his obligation?

My route will be clearly marked out for you.” As of right now, you are a follower of Satan.

The father threatened him between 00:07:09 and 00:07:33.

He delighted in it in the sense that he went out because he was madly in love with Allah to the point where Allah came first in his life.

Obviously, there are many more instances, but the ones I’ve provided are plenty. Now, may Allah subhanho wa Taala provide us proper knowledge of Kunal Kohli’s hada, which was Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato, which was Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato

Answer

Thank you for your time and consideration. Wa’alaykum as-salamu wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious and Merciful, I pray for you. God alone deserves all of the praise and gratitude, and may His peace and blessings be upon His Prophet Muhammad. Greetings, Sister Thank you very much for your inquiry, which demonstrates your desire to acquire a comprehensive understanding of the teachings of Islam. Allah mandates Muslims to seek the advice of persons of wisdom in order to become thoroughly acquainted with the teachings of Islam in all aspects of their lives, including marriage and parenting.

  1. His duty to his parents and his responsibility to provide for their needs are both incumbent on him as spouse.
  2. The parents may have to move in with the son, though, if their health necessitates someone to care after them all of the time (perhaps temporarily).
  3. He explains in his response to your query that a person’s obligation towards his or her parents is second only to their or their children’s duty towards Allah.
  4. “Your Lord has decided that you would worship none other but Him, and that you will show the greatest possible compassion to your parents,” declares Allah Almighty.
  5. But this does not imply that he may be careless or complacent in his responsibilities towards his wife and children.
  6. Due to the fact that Islam is a religion of balance, it is expected that one will balance both of these responsibilities.
  7. It should be noted that he is not defying his parents in any manner.
  8. Having stated that, I must point out that he will never be able to neglect his filial responsibilities.
  9. Again, I must caution you from positioning yourself as a competitor with his parents in the quest for your husband’s affection and attention.
  10. Your spouse would do well to understand that he must strike a balance between his obligations to his parents and his obligations to you and your children.

He will never be permitted to choose between the two of them. Allah, the Almighty, understands what is best. The following is an excerpt, with minor alterations, from www.islam.ca

Who Comes First In Islam…Mother Or Wife?

Question My husband and his mother purchased a home together, but my sister, her husband, and their four children are currently residing with us at the home. They make no financial contribution to the household because the sister and her husband are both unemployed, but the sister receives handouts for her children (R1500 per month) from the government. Growing up, my family consisted of of my parents and two younger siblings. My husband’s family is the polar opposite of how I was raised, and they don’t care for the sentiments of others around them before facing them with the truth.

  • This is a house that I do not want to dwell in since it makes me unpleasant and unhappy to be there.
  • My husband, like many others, does not want to be in the house anymore, but he is mainly concerned for his mother, which I understand.
  • I have informed my husband, but he does not know what he can do to satisfy both me (his wife) and his mother at the same time.
  • Those of us with two little children or his mother?
  • A religious point of view holds that the husband has a first and first commitment to his wife and children because he is obliged by the marital contract that he has gone into with them.
  • If you would want to reside somewhere else, you have the right to request such arrangements if it is possible for you to do so.
  • There are answers to any problem if individuals are ready to dedicate themselves to a reasonable level of commitment.
  • God is the only one who understands what is best.

I Am Stuck Between My Mother and My Wife. What Does Islam Say?

Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil responded to the question. Question:I’m the only son, and I’m caught between my mother and my wife, who both want me to marry them. I’ve been attempting to resolve this issue for the past few years, relying on evidence from the Qur’an and Hadith, but so far I’ve been unable. My wife has left the house to live in her own home with my 2-year-old kid, and she has stated that she will not return. What am I supposed to do? If you are reading this, I hope everything is going well for you.

  1. Excuse me for the delay in responding.
  2. Islam emphasizes the need of maintaining a sense of proportion in all things, particularly when it comes to the rights of others.
  3. Counseling My strong recommendation is that you and your wife seek professional marriage therapy.
  4. Children, especially when it comes to their parents, have a keen sense of when something is awry.
  5. In actuality, you have three ladies to consider, not just two as you may imagine.
  6. Continue to put your efforts into repairing your marriage while also spending quality time with your mum.
  7. If at all feasible, spend at least one weekend each month at your mother’s house.

Please take the time to read it carefully and consider the reasons why your wife no longer want to live with your mother.

Even in the finest of marriages, living with one’s in-laws may be a difficult experience.

Please make this a top priority.

Many elderly parents anticipate that their adult children and grandkids will live with them in their later years.

This, however, does not always occur in practice.

Spend quality time with her, assist her with errands, accompany her to family gatherings, and so on.

If your father has died away, it is even more crucial for you to be there for your mother at this time.

The situation you are in is really challenging, and I wish that Allah makes it easy for you and rewards you for putting forth your best effort.

In the last part of the night, please get up and pray to Allah for relief from this tremendous hardship (The Prayer of Need).

Please see the following: A Reader on the Importance of Patience and Trust in Allah In-Laws who are pleased with their situation Raidah Shah Idil is a female narrator.

During her nearly two-year stay in Amman, Jordan, Ustadha Raidah Shah Idilhas studied fiqh and Arabic, as well as Seerah and Aqeedah, Tasawwuf, Tafsir, and Tajweed from Ustadha Raidah Shah Idilhas.

She continues to study with her Teachers through Qibla Academy and SeekersHub Global, which are both online learning platforms. She also graduated with honors from the University of New South Wales with degrees in psychology and English.

“If Anyone Favours His Wife Over His Mother…!”

When Prophet Muhammad (sallellahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) was alive, a young man named Alqamah came into being. He was extremely conscientious in his devotion to Allah (SWT), participating in prayer and fasting, as well as giving generously to charity. Then he became unwell, and his condition deteriorated rapidly. His wife went to the Prophet (s.a.w.s.) and told him, “My husband, Alqamah, is on his deathbed. Please help me.” As a result, I came to you, Messenger of Allah, to inform you of his current condition.’ Ammar, Suhaib, and Bilal were summoned by the Prophet (sallellahu ‘alaihi wa sallam), who instructed them to report to him (Alqamah) and request that he recite the Shahadah.

  • They begged him to say, ‘La illaha illa Allah,’ but he was unable to do so because his tongue was frozen.
  • In response, the Prophet (sallellahu alayhi wa sallam) said, “Are either of his parents still alive?” He was informed that his mother is a Messenger of Allah, but that she is quite old.
  • When the Prophet’s envoy arrived, he informed her that the Prophet had sent a message.
  • She rose to her feet, leaning on her walking stick, and walked up to the Prophet (s.a.w.s.) to extend her greetings.
  • ‘ So, Alqamah, what is the current state of affairs with your son?’ Her response was, ‘As an ambassador of Allah, he prays a lot, fasts a lot, and donates a lot of money to charitable causes.’ ‘And what about yourself?’ the Prophet (s.a.w.s.) inquired.
  • ‘Why?’ he inquired.

When Allah’s Messenger addressed Alqamah with his anger, he said, “Surely your anger has prevented Alqamah’s tongue from pronouncing the Shahadah.” In the next breath, he turned to Bilal and instructed him to “go collect a large quantity of firewood.” ‘Messenger of Allah, what do you have in mind for me?’ she inquired.

‘Messenger of Allah, he is my son,’ she exclaimed.’ You have broken my heart by putting him on fire in front of me!’ ‘Umm Alqamah, Allah’s punishment is more severe and longer-lasting!’ he exclaimed.

The prayer, fasting, and charitable giving (which he has done) are of no benefit to Alqamah as long as you are enraged with him, according to the One in Whose Hand my soul rests.’ “Messenger of Allah,” she continued, “I call upon Allah Most High and His angels, as well as the Muslims who are present, to bear witness to the fact that I am pleased with my son Alqamah.” ‘Bilal, go to him and see whether he is now able to say, ‘La illaha illa Allah,’ or not,’ Allah’s Messenger (s.a.w.s.) instructed.

I think it is possible that Umm Alqamah is saying something for my benefit that she does not really mean.’ He went, and as he walked through the door, he heard Alqamah say, “La illaha illa Allah,” which meant “God willing.” ‘It is certainly true that while Alqamah’s mother was angry with him, his tongue was tied, and now that she is pleased with him, his tongue is free,’ Bilal (r.a.) remarked.

Upon his death, the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) came to him and gave the order for his washing and shrouding.

Afterwards, he stood by his grave and declared, “You Muhajireen and Helpers (Ansaar), if anyone favors his wife over his mother, Allah and His angels, as well as all of mankind, will curse him!” If he does not repent toward Allah, the Glorious and Majestic, and reconciles with her and attains her pleasure, Allah will not accept his spending (in charity) and uprightness, because Allah’s pleasure consists in her pleasure and Allah’s anger consists in her anger.’ * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Friends in the faith, we must always show respect and obedience to our parents, as they are deserving of our undivided attention and admiration.

“Your Lord has decreed that you worship none other than Him, and that you be kind to your parents,” says the Quran.

Then, out of consideration for them, lower to them the wing of humility, saying: ‘My Lord! Please shower Your mercy on them, just as they did on me when I was a child.” (Surah 17:23-24; Quran 17:23-24)

Is the Husband’s First Priority His Parents Whereas a Wife’s Her Hus

Ustadha has responded to your question. Zaynab Ansari Abdur-Razacq was born in Zaynab, Afghanistan. According to Islam, a husband’s first priority is always his parents, but a wife’s first priority should always be her spouse, asks the author. Answer: In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful, I pray for you. All praise be to Allah, the Creator of the Universe. God’s peace and blessings be upon the Prophet Muhammad, his family, his companions, and those who follow them. Amen.

  1. No.
  2. As a couple, you and your spouse must learn to strike a balance between the rights of each other as well as those of your respective parents, children, and other members of your families.
  3. Generally speaking, women follow their spouses unless they are being ordered to do anything illegal by their husbands.
  4. On the other side, in certain Muslim societies, a man is expected to listen first to his parents before listening to his future bride.
  5. It is preferable to strive for a balance between these competing objectives.
  6. May Allah honor and reward you.

Zaynab Ansari Abdul-full Razacq’s name is Zaynab Ansari Abdul-Razacq and she was born in the city of Zaynab Ansari Abdul-Razacq in the state of Zaynab Ansari Abdul-Razacq in the state of Zaynab Ansari Abdul-Razacq in the state of Zaynab Ansari Abdul-Razacq in October 6, 2009Shawwal 17, 1430Shawwal 17, 1430 Shaykh Faraz Rabbani has reviewed and approved this document.

Between wife or mother who has the right to stay in the son/husband’s house?

Ustadha provides an answer. The name Zaynab Ansari Abdur-Razacq is derived from the Arabic word for “peaceful.” Is it correct to say that in Islam, a husband’s first priority is always his parents, whilst a wife’s first priority should always be her husband? Respondent: “In the name of Allah, the Most Merciful, the MOST GRATEFUL.” Allah, the Almighty, is worthy of praise. May Allah’s peace and blessings be upon the Prophet Muhammad, his family, his companions, and everyone who follow them. I’m writing to express my heartfelt gratitude for all you have done for me.

  1. No.
  2. As a couple, you and your spouse must learn to strike a balance between the rights of each other as well as those of your respective parents, children, and other members of your family.
  3. Generally speaking, women follow their spouses unless they are being ordered to do anything illegal by their husband.
  4. A guy may, on the other hand, listen first to his parents in various Muslim societies before listening to his wife.
  5. In order to achieve a reasonable balance between these competing interests, it is best to try.
  6. Please accept my prayers that Allah will reward you!
  7. Zaynab Ansari Abdul-Razacq was born in the city of Zaynab Ansari in the state of Zaynab Ansari in the state of Zaynab Ansari in the state of Zaynab Ansari in the state of Zaynab Ansari in the state of Zaynab Ansari in the The date is October 6, 2009, at 1430 SHAWWAL.

Shaykh Faraz Rabbani has reviewed and approved this document.

Priority husband or parents. – Islamhelpline

Priority should be given to the husband or parents. Please accept my heartfelt greetings, Mu’ meneen Brothers and Sisters. As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh, Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah’s Peace, Mercy, and Blessings be upon each and every one of you.). One of our brothers or sisters has posed the following question to us: Brother Burhan, salamo alaikum (peace be upon you). Please provide more information. Is it necessary for a married sister to give attention to her parents first or to her husband?

  • What is the proper role of a lady in caring for her parents in Islam?
  • jazakallah In the preceding statement, there may be some grammatical and spelling problems.
  • In the name of Allah, we express our gratitude, beg for His assistance, and ask for His forgiveness.
  • We attest to the fact that there is none worthy of worship save Allah Alone, and we attest to the fact that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
  • It is almost impossible to overstate the importance of a believing wife completing her responsibilities to her husband in her marriage.
  • As far as her Lord is concerned, this would be equivalent to devotion and righteousness on her side.
  • Treat your parents with great love; if one or both of them reach old age, do not even say uff to them; do not chastise them; instead, speak to them in a gentle and loving manner.
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Chapter 31 SurahLuqman verse 14:14 of the Holy Quran states, “Allah says.” Man was born in labor upon labor, and his weaning took place over a period of two years: (hear the order) “Show thanks to Me and to thyparents; it is to Me that (thy ultimate) goal must be achieved.” 15-16:15 Allah states in the Holy Quran, Chapter 46, Surah Ahqaaf, verses 15-16:15.

From the time of conception to the time of weaning, the (infant) will be carried for thirty months.

” he exclaims after he has reached the age of full vigor and has reached the age of forty years.

As a Muslim, I have genuinely turned to Thee and truly bow (to Thee) in submission to Thee.” 16 Such are the people from whom We will take the best of their acts while passing over the worst of their deeds: (they will be) among the Companions of the Garden, fulfilling the promise of truth that was made to them in the past (in this life).

  1. To put it another way, whatever good you spend goes to your parents and relatives, orphans, people in need, and wayfaring souls.
  2. Hadith 4941 (Al-Tirmidhi) is narrated by Abu Umamah.
  3. “They are (or your relationship with them will decide) whether you are in Paradise or Hell,” he (saws) said.
  4. Allow him to be humiliated into the dust!
  5. “Yes, O Allah’s Messenger (saws)!” they said enthusiastically.
  6. “To do what is right and proper for your parents,” he (saws) said.
  7. The Prophet (saws) said, “To take part in Jihad (religious combat) in Allah’s cause.” “I only asked for that much, and if I had asked for more, the Prophet (saws) would have told me even more,” Abdullah said.

Righteous women are therefore devoted to their husbands and watch over what Allah would have them watch over when he is not from home (their chastity, their husbands honor, property, etc.) The narration of Hadith 3272 by Abu Hurayrah is included in the Tirmidhi collection.

A wife should prostrate herself before her husband, according to the Prophet (saws) if it had been allowed for a person to do so in the presence of another.

When a man sends for his wife in order to satisfy his desire, the Prophet (saws) advised that she should attend to him even if she is preoccupied with preparing bread.

In the words of the Prophet (saws): If a lady dies when her husband is delighted with her, she will be admitted into Paradise.

A sister has brothers and sisters, but they are not particularly attentive to her parents, so she is left with the responsibility of caring for them.

A believer, regardless of gender, is required by Shariah to provide each party with its due and complete rights without sacrificing the rights of another.

According to Shariah, if a believing wife has her own wealth and discovers her parents are in need, her parents have the right to request that their daughter spend from her wealth on her parents; however, if the daughter does not have her own wealth, she is not responsible in Shariah for the financial support of her parents.

Whatever is said about truth and benefit is solely due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, while whatever is written about mistake is due to the author’s own fault. Allah knows best, and He is the only one who can provide strength and guidance. In Islam, I am your brother and well-wisher. Burhan

Marriage – Responsibilities of Parents from Islamic point of view

In Islam, marriage is seen as a highly significant institution. In the words of the Holy Prophet (saw), “When a man marries, he has finished one-half of his religious obligations.” Moreover, he has stated that “Marriage is my Sunnah (practice), and those who do not follow my Sunnah (practice) are not of my family.” There are three fundamental reasons for entering into a marriage, and they are as follows:-

  • To make it possible for a man and a woman to live together and enjoy love and pleasure while remaining within the confines of Islamic Law
  • To bear children and to give them with a secure and virtuous atmosphere in which to grow up
  • In order to protect society from moral and social deterioration, a formal union must be established.

As a result, marriage is an opportunity for a man and a woman to go on a spiritual and physical journey together, a journey that, insha’Allah, they will continue in the next life. The purpose of this is to provide their children with a pious and safe atmosphere in which they can grow and develop Taqwa (Righteousness), so enabling them to become God-fearing slaves of Allah. Unfortunately, a large number of couples are breaking up and ending in divorce these days. Therefore, we should all strive to live in a society where such unethical acts are not tolerated, and our homes should be places that serve as a model of heaven on earth.

  1. The only way to live in such an environment is to guarantee that Allah stays firmly entrenched in our hearts.
  2. However, at the end of the day, it is not their marriage that they should utilize their knowledge and experience to lead them through difficult times and to provide them with support when they are in need.
  3. The beginning of a marriage is extremely essential, and we should endeavor to do all possible to obtain Allah’s approval.
  4. As a result, some parents become distracted by worldly considerations rather than choosing a lovely religious person for their kid; right from the start, they have placed a good career or money or status or anything before Allah, so sending the wrong message to their child.
  5. He was making his routine hidden rounds to check on the general welfare of the populace when he overheard a discussion between a mother and her little daughter.
  6. The daughter responded by saying, “At the time, she was not a Muslim, but now we can’t get away with it!” The mother attempted to comfort her that it was fine to add a little water, but the daughter retorted by insisting that we must adhere to Islamic edicts.
  7. But the daughter would not budge, stating that while this may be true, “how can we avoid the gaze of Allah and our own conscience?” she asked.
  8. Hazrat Umar (r.a.) was greatly impressed by her attitude and piety, and he ordered a man to purchase some milk from the girl the following day in order to see if any water had been mixed in with it.

“As a gift, I will present her with the highest honor possible, which will also be in the best interests of the country.” He then summoned the mother and daughter to his court, where he addressed his own boys with the words: “Here is a jewel of a girl, who would make an excellent mother.” This girl should be taken as a wife by one of you, if that is possible.

  1. The character, rather than the statue in life, should be taken into consideration when it comes to matrimonial decisions.
  2. From their children came Hazrat Umar bin Abdul Aziz, who rose to prominence in Islam as a great Khalifa renowned for his piety and simplicity.
  3. ‘There is no finer and higher present that a parent can offer to his children than the cultivation of excellent morals,’ according to the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.) Many times, parents do not consult with their children to determine what kind of partner they want.
  4. For this reason, you should speak with your children first, find out their desires, and allow them to discuss their future jobs, purdah, and children with their prospective spouse before making a decision.
  5. There have been instances when a youngster has allegedly ‘fallen in love’ with someone who is not a Muslim and has notified their parents that they wish to marry that person.
  6. Some parents push their children to marry a Muslim or someone from “back home” in order to conceal the fact that they have a problem.
  7. Is it possible that the child has animosity that will manifest itself in this marriage?

As a result, pushing the child to marry someone else is not the solution!

The child must be the one to call a halt to the connection, put an end to it, and make the decision that they will not be connected with anybody else until they are married.

Occasionally, the parents will opt to conceal the affair by arranging for the individual to convert to Islam on their behalf.

What would it accomplish if a person simply adopts the Muslim name but does not believe in Allah or even practice Islam?

Will they take steps to guarantee that their children attend the Mosque on a regular basis?

Your child will be blinded by ‘love,’ but you must plan for the future, especially when their offspring are brought into the world.

Will one of the parents allow the child to attend the Mosque if the other parent does not truly believe in Islamic teachings?

Will they get him circumcised?

How will the daughter be persuaded to wear it if her mother is not wearing it?

What would be the point of you marrying your child to someone who is not a believer in God?

Is it possible to please your child while also disobeying Allah?

If you want to make your marriage work, you must continually seek to gain Allah’s approval in everything you do.

Once married, the girl is frequently welcomed into the household of her husband’s parents.

However, she has discovered that she is not always accepted.

As a result, she abuses her daughter-in-law, turning her into her personal slave and insisting she do everything while never being content with the results.

When a marriage is having difficulties, it may be necessary for the young couple to relocate away from the home of the husband’s parents in order to assure that the marriage will continue to function.

These individuals require the ability to make their own judgments and errors.

In some cases, people have no option since, instead of discovering heaven, they find themselves in the depth of hell.

Daughter in law should be handled as if she were your own daughter in law.

Give her the assistance and support she requires, and treat her fairly and with love, and she will reciprocate by becoming an obedient and loving daughter in law, as well as a loyal and loving wife to your son and daughter in law.

Help them, give them advice, but do not try to exert control over them.

As a result, the daughter-in-law should be treated as if she were your own daughter, and she should treat her in-law as if she were her own mother, as well.

The young people’s viewpoint and expectations are completely erroneous.

The harm to their connection with Allah has already been done.

However, if we do not also provide them with a good religious education, develop a strong love for God, and place greater emphasis on winning Allah’s pleasure than on winning material things, we may be doing serious harm to our children.

Instead of being a good Muslim who has a strong relationship with Allah when they go to work or to university, they may instead seek relationships with non-Muslims, which could lead to them going to pubs and clubs with them.

As a result, they may begin to slide down an extremely steep slope, which may result in their abusing alcohol or other drugs, or more typically in dating, and they may become very weak in their Christian faith.

However, if you arrange a marriage for them, it is their spouse who will be exposed to the reality of your child’s upbringing and development.

As the Holy Quran says, “virtuous women are those who obey their spouses and keep the secrets of their husbands under Allah’s protection.” They will make every effort to make their marriage successful, and if there are problems, they will do everything in their power to resolve them.

If your child comes to you and begs you to locate them a suitable partner for marriage, you should seriously consider the request and make every effort to find a good match.

In the event that you put off their request for marriage because you want to get older children married first, you will put them in a difficult situation, and they may begin a relationship, which will put you in a difficult situation as well.

Your sons will come into contact with a large number of females while attending college, university, and working.

As a result, your sons will need to be physically powerful, which explains the need of developing their Taqwa.

However, they will once again be surrounded by males who will vie for their attention.

Not someone you can brag about and show off to your friends, but someone who is pious and compatible with them is preferred.

Your children deserve to have faith in you to find suitable partners for them; otherwise, they will begin looking for suitable partners on their own.

Parents must not only build an Islamic environment in their house but also assist their children in establishing excellent, peaceful Islamic settings in their own homes, as outlined in the preceding section.

Who gets the Man? Mother vs Wife – Ummah.com

Some people believe that their son’s wife’s mother-in-law is being unfairly judgmental of her, while others believe that the wife is being ungrateful to the elder woman. Despite the fact that there appears to be no conflict between the two females. Small embers of tension are lit beneath the surface of the water. The man’s mother brought him to maturity, and she adores him more than anybody else on the planet. His wife is in more need of him; he is the love of her life. The mother desires that her son be there for her when she becomes old and exhausted.

  • The mother is the only one who truly understands her kid.
  • The mother has a lot of knowledge and may provide a lot of guidance to the kid.
  • The mother is willing to go to any length for her son.
  • There’s no one to blame in my opinion.
  • It is dependent on the circumstances.
  • Some of the women are orphans, or their dads live a long distance away, so her husband is the only guy she has in her life, and the only one who can defend her.
  • It’s now the wife’s turn to speak.
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His mother, on the other hand, is the one who is most deserving of his consideration.

My mother is a widow who confronted the world and raised her children on her own.

There were many days and nights filled with agony, anxiety, and isolation.

They used to visit her every other day when they were in the country.

I’m an orphan; my father has been dead since I was a child, and my elder brothers have moved away.

My hubby is the love of my life, my best friend, and my best companion.

Your opinions and/or personal experiences are welcome.

In addition, to spouses, If he spends too much time with his family, does your spouse find himself missing out on crucial events/moments in your life from time to time?

Part 2

The subject of in-laws, which includes our own parents, is one of the most emotionally charged themes of a marriage. Most Muslims have experienced dispute with their wives, their parents, or their in-laws at some time in their lives. Regardless of what we believe to be correct about our interpersonal connections in an afiqhî (Islamic legal) understanding, this fire is still a possibility and a strong possibility. This is due to the fact that this fire might reappear even after we’ve done everything perfectly.

Because our emotions are not always in sync with what is right in the world.

This is one of the things that makes this fire particularly difficult.

Fighting Fires

For parents and in-laws, putting out the fire doesn’t only imply making the right decision; it also entails developing connections that prevent the fire from igniting in the first place. In addition, when it does flare up, putting out the fire demands us to know how to do it quickly and with the least amount of harm to all of our relationships. The following question was once posed to a shaykh: “My shaykh, whom do I make happier first, my wife or my mother?” “Akhî, my brother, you have to find a method to make them both happy,” the wise shaykh stated with a smile.

Causality

Take a look at the parts of this sentence to see how this fire might show itself. First and foremost, there is the connection between a husband and a wife to consider. Then there’s the bond that exists between each spouse and their own biological parents. Final consideration is the connection between each spouse and his or her spouse’s respective in-laws. Regardless of who their “obedience” is to in afiqhîsense, there are three separate relationships that each couple is responsible for maintaining.

  1. It is not necessary to apply an afatwa (legal ruling) in its technical meaning to each of these connections, and it is not always possible to approach such ties legalistically, according to the letter of the law, as is the case in some cases.
  2. They also have a responsibility toward their own parents and a responsibility toward their in-laws.
  3. We cannot allow our marriage to be ruined in order to appease our parents.
  4. One of these connections can never be prioritized above the other since they are interdependent on each other.

This problem is not surprising when you consider it in the context of separate yet interconnected partnerships. This is due to the fact that it requires effort, consideration, and emotional energy. Maturity and proactive behavior are also required.

Personal Baggage

Everyone is unique in their own way. Human beings, according to what the Prophet Muhammad taught us, are similar to the many varieties of earth that Allah created. Not only does this explain our variances in skin color and size, but it also explains why we have such a wide range of temperaments and dispositions. The majority of harmful behaviors can be controlled, and everyone has the ability to go in a favorable direction. However, the manner in which Allah formed each of us decides which habits we can readily manage and which habits we find difficult to control.

  1. Some of us are unafraid of conflict and will engage in it.
  2. Some people are naturally happy in their lives.
  3. The challenges that couples encounter when it comes to dealing with the fires of marriage—parents and in-laws—include not only dealing with the difficulties of their own relationship and personal failings, but also dealing with the temperaments and shortcomings of their parents and in-laws.
  4. As a result, this fire frequently erupts into a raging inferno.

Mother-in-Law Jokes Aside

In the most well-known familial dispute, the husband is caught in the midst between his daughter-in-law and her mother-in-law. Fiqh (the application of divine Law based on educated knowledge) teaches us that a husband’s “obligation” is to his mother, but a wife’s “obedience” is to her husband, to put it in a general sense. In certain cases, this might give the impression of a tiered hierarchy that cascades down from the husband’s mother at the top, down to the husband, and finally down to the wife.

  • From the mother’s point of view, she is concerned that her daughter-in-law would be manipulative and cause her son to become estranged from his mother and family.
  • A large number of us are squished together right here.
  • When may a boundary be made between appropriate demands and neediness that is harmful to one’s self?
  • But, as thinking adults, we must recognize that we have a responsibility to create healthy boundaries in all of our relationships, even those to which we are deeply beholden.
  • In truth, we owe a great debt of gratitude and duty to our parents, particularly to our moms, which we will never be able to repay even with a lifetime of service to our country.

Although everyone has limited availability and capacity in our fast-paced world, this is another reason why makingduahfor our parents is so important in recouping the financial losses we have suffered as children.

Multi-Directional Ties

After marriage, you become accountable to your spouse, as well as your parents—and, make no mistake, you and your spouse are the only ones who can ensure that your marriage is healthy and functional. Marriage, in addition, is a lot more volatile connection than your relationship with your parents, owing to the fact that marriage is founded on conditional love, whereas the parent-child bond is, if not unconditional, then at the extreme end of the spectrum. Harm to a marriage may occur far more quickly and severely than damage to a parent-child connection, and it is considerably more difficult to restore than difficulties in a parent-child relationship.

That being said, it does imply that you have a responsibility to your marriage that cannot be ignored or postponed simply because your parents urge you to do something.

As the knowledgeable shaykh pointed out, you must find a method to take care of everything at all times, including the responsibilities you owe your parents as well as those you owe your husband or wife and the institution of marriage.

New Boundary Lines

For many, marriage will be the first opportunity to examine and consider limits with one’s parents for the first time. As a result of being married, we are required to make the shift from a child-adult connection with our parents to an adult-adult relationship with our spouse. Is it necessary to create limits in order to exclude someone? Without a doubt, this is not the case. Is it possible to set limits without being less responsible or respectful? On the contrary, it should arouse our senses to a greater extent.

  • Then do not go against their wishes.
  • Acknowledging the boundaries of these relationships requires knowing the point at which your parents’ engagement, authority, and expectations on you are stifled or even eliminated by your connection with your spouse.
  • In order to be successful in an adult-adult relationship, you must first and foremost be proactive and mature.
  • You probably don’t see your parents every day anymore (if you don’t live with them), and you probably don’t come home from school to their house anymore.

It is probable that you will live apart from them at some time and make decisions that do not always involve them in the process. You are a self-sufficient individual. At the very least, you have begun to build a nest of your own after leaving the nest of your parents.

Out of the Nest

So, how can you fulfill your commitment to provide decent care to your parents now that you are no longer residing in their residence? Perhaps you need to contact them on a daily basis or see them once a week. Consequently, when you do see them, you may have to go the additional mile to express your affection for them, such as by sitting with them and actively conversing with them, or by sending your mother a bouquet of flowers or complementing her cuisine. Maybe you’ll contact them and seek for their opinion on some things, even if your primary goal is to convey to them the importance of their continuous presence in your life and the necessity of their involvement in it.

It’s possible that this is an immature reaction.

But there’s nothing you can do about it but fulfill your obligations to them in the hope that doing so may alleviate their sense of bereavement and loss.

Flames of Neediness

In the event that you have parents who, for whatever reason, never seem to “get over” the fact that your kid has left the nest, you must realize when your parents’ anger or disapproval with you is a flaw in them rather than a fault in you as an adult. Such negative feelings in parents may be a result of unrealistic expectations, a needy attitude, or their own unpleasant relationship. When a parent is unhappy in his or her marriage, he or she may have compensated by seeking constant fulfillment via his or her relationship with you, which is known as overcompensation in the parent-child relationship.

  1. The emptiness of life becomes all the more obvious and unavoidable for this parent as time goes on.
  2. Sadly, this is true for many of us.
  3. Transgressions are unavoidable in the absence of clearly defined limits.
  4. One of the roles of a clothing, according to our academics, is to conceal flaws and imperfections.
  5. Disclose to one’s parents the shortcomings of one’s spouse causes a firestorm between parents and in-laws.
  6. (This is something fathers can do as well.) While the enquiries may be well-intentioned, such as a desire to provide real counsel, it is possible that they are motivated by an abnormal desire to cast a negative light on the son or daughter-in-law.
  7. This is an element of the marital covenant, and it is an illustration of how the space available to our parents is restricted by the space available to our spouse.

You should do all in your power to quietly dispel your mother’s or father’s suspicions about your marriage and to express your affection for your parents.

A parent who lives with a couple (or vice versa) has many of the same issues as a single parent.

When communicating with their spouses, they should avoid acting in an immature or reactionary manner.

Here’s another example: Make the sentiments of the irritated spouse insignificant.

While these limits are being created (and then fine tuned), your interactions with your in-laws will be particularly troublesome for the time being.

The golden rule is to never engage in emotionally reactive behavior, whether with parents or with a spouse (or children, for that matter).

Spouses rely on one another to develop this sort of adult-adult connection with their respective parents in order for them to feel safe in their own efforts to establish a meaningful and mutually rewarding relationship with their mother and father-in-law, respectively.

Balancing Responsibilities

If you have parents who, for whatever reason, never seem to “get over” their child’s decision to flee the nest, you must learn to distinguish between when their anger or disapproval with you is a fault in them and when it is a fault in you as an adult. Such negative feelings in parents may be a result of high expectations, a needy attitude, or their own unpleasant relationship. When a parent is unhappy in his or her marriage, he or she may have sought constant fulfillment via his or her relationship with you, which is known as overcompensation in the parent-child relationship.

  • It is this parent’s inability to fill the void in his or her life that becomes increasingly palpable and unavoidable.
  • Sadly, this is true for many of us.
  • Transgressions are unavoidable in the absence of clear limits.
  • One of the roles of a garment, according to our experts, is to conceal flaws and defects.
  • Disclose to one’s parents the shortcomings of one’s spouse causes a firestorm between parents and in-laws.
  • (This is something that fathers can accomplish.) Some of the enquiries may be well-intentioned, such as a genuine desire to provide sound counsel, while others may be motivated by an abnormal wish to cast a negative light on the son or daughter-in-law.
  • Our parents’ space is restricted by the space that we have with our spouse, and this is an example of how our marriage covenant limits our parents’ space.

Do everything you can to gently dispel your mother’s or father’s suspicions about your spouse while also emphasizing your feelings of affection for them.

An elderly parent who is housed in a couple’s home (or vice versa) has comparable difficulties.

When communicating with their spouses, they should avoid acting in an immature or reactionary way.

You should treat your parent with disdain.

Discredit the sentiments of the irritated spouse.

Furthermore, unless husbands and wives create an adult-to-adult connection with their own parents, their spouses will never be free to form adult relationships with their own children.

It is preferable if you act in a calm, courteous manner while maintaining appropriate limits that will safeguard your relationship.

Spouses rely on one another to develop this sort of adult-adult connection with their respective parents in order for them to feel confident in their own efforts to establish a meaningful and mutually gratifying relationship with their mother and father-in law.

Win-Win Arrangements

As a spouse or wife, you have a divine obligation to your parents, which is based on what Allah has revealed via His Book and through His Messenger. Good treatment, respect, and kindness are all owed to them. It is your holy responsibility to carry out these responsibilities to the best of your abilities. However, whether or not you are able to constantly satisfy your parents in your efforts to accompany, serve, and delight them is something over which you have no control. Despite the fact that you are obligated to give your all in the service and love of your parents, you must refrain from exceeding the bounds of your sacred marriage bond.

It is the understanding of the discerning Muslim that the well-being of one divinely decreed relationship must not, and in fact cannot, be sacrificed at the price of any other precious link.

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